


an upstanding model (with impeccable style)

by ASOCIAL CLIMBER (maxxxined)



Category: I Don't Know How But They Found Me (Band)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, Androids, Angst and Feels, But it's serious sometimes, Comedy, Dallon is a housewife, Dallon is an android, Domestic Fluff, Drummer - Freeform, Drums, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, Leather Jackets, Light Angst, M/M, Okay this is too many tags, Robot Feels, Robot Sex, Robot/Human Relationships, Ryan is a mess, Ryan is broke, Ryan is emo sometimes, Shitty bands, Slice of Life, Smoking, Smut, Some Humor, Top Dallon Weekes, Weekman, Why Did I Write This?, some people are assholes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:27:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23454031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxxxined/pseuds/ASOCIAL%20CLIMBER
Summary: "He's an A class android, the first of his model type." The agent placed a firm hand on the android's shoulder, making its white dress shirt ruffle up around the collar."You're giving me a fucking robot?" Ryan's voice wavered as he stared at it in disgust.After being given an android, Ryan's shitty life becomes a little more interesting. Being a fill-in drummer for terrible bands doesn't pay the best salary, so obviously he jumped at a chance to make more money, even if he hated his overtly friendly android that scared him to death.Would he ever learn to accept his new partner into his life? Or even eventually into his heart?
Relationships: Ryan Seaman/Dallon Weekes
Comments: 41
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1: We're taking over the world (a little victimless crime)

"Hey, thanks again man. Take care, eh?"

The lead singer slid a cluster of crumpled bills into Ryan's hand, leaving to celebrate with the rest of his cheering band. Ryan counted the money, suspicious. Get ripped off once and never be able to trust anyone again.

The bar was dimly lit, the smell of smoke hanging thick in the air as drunken patrons stumbled around him, mumbling incomprehensible apologies. Ryan breathed a sigh of relief once he confirmed that all the money was there, glad that he would be eating this week. He was short on money since his Mormon family disowned him and he was robbed, both because of his sexuality, so he'd since learned that it was best to stay closeted. It didn't bother him since no one interested him, especially shitty bar-bands that only played covers of AC/DC songs.

Ryan was working as a fill-in drummer for any bands that were missing one, which was more often than you'd presume. They were always either in jail, sick from alcohol poisoning or stuck at home with their mistress's kids.

He wanted to make a quick escape before any obviously intoxicated, sleazy women tried to rope him into a night of disgusting car sex. He gave the bartender a halfhearted nod and slithered through the back exit, his leather jacket rubbing again the cold metal door frame.

Ryan was staring emotionless at his phone like a zombie, ignoring the smacking noise of couples making out against other people cars, trying to get to his car before anyone talked to him.

Then he ran into an invisible force field.

"Mr. Seaman?" The force said.

Ryan stumbled backwards, stunned. The force field was wearing a dark suit and carrying a briefcase, face and colours indistinguishable in the poorly lit parking lot.

"Oof- y-yeah?" His heart started beating rapidly against his rib cage. It wouldn't be the first time he was mugged, but he wasn't in good shape. The night before he'd fallen down his apartment stairs and hurt his ankle, but thanks to the American Health Care system, he had no way of fixing it. Ryan was already in deep debt from his crappy car which needed constant repairs, and he was months behind on his rent.

"Would you mind talking for a minute?" The force field held out a clean hand, which Ryan shook warily. "I'm Mark Bennett, an agent from Cyberbio, and I have a proposal for you."

Ryan had never heard of any such company and didn't care to be caught in a pyramid scheme. "I uh- I'm not interested. How do you know my name?"

"We've been studying you for a while, Mr. Seaman, and we've determined that you're the perfect subject for our test. We will offer you money in return." The force field spoke calmly, in a much different tone than Ryan was used to. No cracks caused by heavy smoking, no slurred words, no gravelly voice telling him that he was a terrible drummer and that they'd find someone better to play for them.

"Oh, money? Why didn't you just start with that?" He smirked and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, shoving his phone into his pocket along side a pack of smokes. "What's this test you're talking about?"

A tall, imposing shadow figure appeared behind the agent, standing there stoically.

 _'Oh fuck, I'm gonna get murdered in the parking lot of some bar.'_ Ryan thought, taking a step back, holding his hands out in front of him defensively. "Listen man, I'm not looking for trouble. I'm broke and have no one in my life that'd miss me."

Agent Mark Bennett chucked, his laugh hollow and empty. "No, no Mr. Seaman, we're not here to hurt you. This is Dallon,"

The figure stepped forward into the faint light from the flickering orange street lamp, illuminating its features. Thick brown hair, sharp jawline, blue eyes and a long face to match the rest of its body. It stood with perfect posture, wearing a blank expression, a small white light on its neck shining unsteadily as it thought.

"He's an A class android, the first of his model type." The agent placed a firm hand on the android's shoulder, making its white dress shirt ruffle up around the collar.

"You're giving me a fucking _robot_?" Ryan's voice wavered as he stared at it in disgust. He was aware that many rich folks owned maid androids and was repulsed by the idea of living with one. While he couldn't even afford one of those Amazon Alexas, he would never buy one out of fear. The government had ears everywhere, and he didn't want them to be in his home, his one place of refuge.

The agent continued without batting an eye. "We've been observing you and your career for quite a while, and we've determined that you're the perfect candidate to own model number DW1981."

The android didn't move at all at the sound of it's model, still staring straight ahead into the grimy brick wall of the bar, white light flickering. If it was a real human, Ryan would've been attracted to him, but it wasn't. It was a machine that felt no emotion and saw things in 0s and 1s.

"How am I supposed to know this thing won't kill me while I'm asleep?" Ryan tried to laugh uncomfortably, but it came out as more of a choking noise. "And- and why me? I'm not special..." 

The agent cleared his throat. "Mr. Seaman, you possess clearly remarkable talent when it comes to music. Dallon here is a musician android, and makes for quite a trustworthy partner too." He spoke knowingly of the fact that Ryan was gay. How long had he been spied on? It didn't matter. Ryan would never date a hunk of metal, no matter how much of a hunk it was.

Wait, a musician android? So great, soon robots will have taken over his job too.

"Here's my business card," He continued. "As you can see, Cyberbio is a reputable company with many sources. If anything out of the ordinary happens, you will be immediately reimbursed and an immediate extraction of the android would result." The way the agent slid his business card into Ryan's cold hands reminded him of every business deal he'd ever made.

It read Mark's name, the company name and multiple lines claiming that they were completely safe. Ryan didn't care so much about that as he did the money.

"...how much will I be paid?" He mumbled, handing the card back. It was starting to get colder out and all he wanted to do was go back to his apartment and bundle up on his couch, eating bad Chinese takeout.

"2500 dollars a week." Mark answered. "We already have your bank account information."

"Holy _shit_ \- alright, I'll take your deal." Ryan shook his hand again, thoughts of what being finally financially stable meant floating through his mind. Cable TV, new clothes and warm food. And all he had to do was take home a piece of metal and store it in his back closet, just like he did with his old vacuums and other junk.

"Very well. Here's an owner's manual-" The agent pulled a thick booklet out of his briefcase and shoved it into Ryan's hands. "-and here's Dallon."

He turned to the android and spoke. "Dallon, this is your new owner, Mr. Seaman. Please make yourself familiar."

The android turned to them and shook Ryan's hand in one fluid motion, the white light on the side of his neck turning a bright blue.

"Mr. Ryan Seaman, it is a pleasure to meet you." It smiled widely, revealing a perfect set of white teeth, it's smooth voice echoing through Ryan's mind. How did it know his first name? Its hand was cold and lifeless, yet its skin felt real, which made Ryan jerk his hand away.

"I apologize for any unfamiliarity, Mr. Seaman. I understand that some human's first contacts with androids can be startling." It was still smiling, eyes void and vacant of any energy.

The agent had slunk back into the shadows, disappearing from view. Ryan was dumbfounded. He had no knowledge of what to do with this thing, and was honestly, scared.

"C-Come on then, I guess..." Ryan made his way to his car, feeling the android's blank gaze on the back of his head as it followed.

He turned to open his car door and felt the android brush against his arm.

"Do you not know how a car works?" Ryan said, annoyed.

The android just opened the door for Ryan and smiled again, an exact copy of the one from before. "I do know how a gas powered automobile works, Mr. Seaman. After you."

Ryan eyed the android as he ducked down into his piece of junk car, shoving the keys into the ignition. The android mimicked his exact moments and sat down in the passenger seat, pulling its seat belt over its tall figure.

Ryan drove in silence to his apartment, ignoring the androids friendly stare. He still had his doubts about his safety, now dulled by the concept of money, so he kept up his angry demeanour.

"Mr. Seaman, you have an unusual name." It spoke in that calm tone, it's movements extreme human-like. If Ryan hadn't known that it was an android and hadn't seen the light on its neck, he could've been fooled.

"Thanks, I didn't choose it." Ryan said sarcastically, gripping the dusty steering wheel tightly as he turned into the apartment complex's small parking garage, a few sketchy characters hanging around.

They exited the car, the android following Ryan close behind as he made his way up the slippery stairs and shoved the apartment door open.

"Welcome to your new paradise." Ryan grumbled, kicking off his boots and throwing them across the room so that they landed beside the old couch.

The android stood at the front entrance, scanning the room, waiting for directions. It's dark hair spiked every which way, it's head almost brushing the low hanging light that swung ominously.

"You uh- you can stay here." Ryan opened the door to his junk closet, pushing some garbage out of the way to make space for the android.

"In a closet?" It cocked its head like a confused dog.

"Yeah. I'm not gonna have a random machine given to me by a stranger roam freely around my apartment." Ryan pointed to the closet, plastering a cheesy smile on his face. "Look at how nice and cozy it is!"

The android's lights flickered as it took in Ryan's words. "I am not a standard machine, Mr. Seaman. I am a highly advanced computer and I would never do anything to hurt my owner. By the way, may I call you Ryan?"

"No you may not."

"Preference taken. I can be of great service to you, Mr. Seaman. I do not think my services would be utilized fully if I stay in an unused closet. May I please stay out for the night?" It smiled again, its hands clasped together behind it like a school child.

Ryan bit his lip as he considered it, closing the closet door slightly. "...fine. But if anything weird happens, I'm selling you on the black market first thing in the morning."

Ryan raided his fridge as he heard the android sit on the couch, lanky legs crossed and long hands on it's knees. It confused Ryan deeply. He had failed science and technology in high school, so he had absolutely no idea how it worked. Did it eat? Did it sleep?

"Can I- can I offer you some Chinese? Can't say it's good, but it won't make you so sick you gotta go to the hospital." Ryan pulled out the takeout containers and set them on his yellow counter. It was white when he had bought the apartment, but who had money to waste on surface cleaners? And too much grime was built up for plain water to work.

"I don't need nutriments, Mr. Seaman. Although, thank you for your hospitality." The exact same fucking grin. Did this thing ever get pissed off? If Ryan was in its shoes, he'd be at least a little frustrated at this treatment.

Ryan made himself comfortable on the couch far away from the android and started scrolling through Facebook, eating his spring rolls with a fork, balancing the carton on his bare knees poking through his black ripped jeans.

"Did you know that spring rolls are eaten during the Chinese Spring Festival to symbolize the beginning of spring?" The android said, turning to face Ryan.

"That's crazy." Ryan answered inattentively, mouth full. After a night of playing drums, all he wanted to do was relax and zone out, not talk and have to think.

The android nodded and stared at its dress shoes, smoothing it's black slacks. Ryan was surprised at how well dressed it came, everything prim and proper except for the mess of dark hair on its head.

"Tell me about yourself, Mr. Seaman. I've searched the web for every record about you, and have discovered that you-"

"You looked me up?"

"Yes Mr. Seaman. I have the ability to connect to the internet from anywhere in the world excluding large bodies of water, or to connect to any cellular device."

"So you could- connect to my phone and see everything in it?"

"Only with your permission, Mr. Seaman."

Ryan stared at it in disbelief. All of him was convinced that he was being spied on by the government, and the second he said something slightly illegal, the police would swarm his apartment. Or maybe this android was sent by his homophobic parents to seduce him, so that they'd catch him in the act. He shuddered at the thought.

"As I was saying, I discovered that you are an extremely talented drummer. I myself was programmed to play the bass, but I must say, I am not able to play as soulful as you do. Is there a reason why the other humans in your music group are always varied?" The android's empty blue eyes were staring at Ryan with an indescribable emotion. It was the closest thing a computer could get to admiration, Ryan guessed.

"They're not my music group- I mean, band. I don't have a band, I just fill in for whoever needs a drummer." He said, digging into his Lo Mein, avoiding the rotten snow peas.

"That's must be awfully difficult, Mr. Seaman."

"Nah, 'm a quick learner." He spit out a bad mushroom, warranting a concerning look from the android.

"Ugh, I think that's it for Chinese..." Ryan stood up and threw the carton in his already overflowing trash can, nearly tripping over his loose socks.

"I'm- I'm heading to bed. If you uh, need to sleep, the couch is yours." Ryan said, backing into his dim bedroom, the android's eyes following him closely.

"Have an excellent sleep, Mr. Seaman." It beamed again, eyes crinkling with smile lines. It was jarring, considering that it wasn't human. Ryan laughed nervously and shut the door behind him, flopping onto his bed surrounded by dirty laundry.

He couldn't believe he was doing this. He couldn't believe that he let a fucking robot live in his house and the fact that he actually trusted it. That's what it wanted. To lure him in before finally murdering him.

Ryan fell asleep while contemplating this, his worries dissolving as he drifted off, still dressed and on top of his covers, blue hair mashed up against his pillow.

_\- I'm only doing anything I want to do because I do it all the time -_

"Mr. Seaman?"

Ryan turned over and snuggled into his soft pillow, mind untangling itself from sleep. The smell of pancakes and bacon wafted into his room, but he blamed it on still being in dreamland.

"Mr. Seaman, I've prepared your breakfast."

That voice. Yesterday. The business card. The cold hand. Lo Mein. Android.

"H-huh?" He mumbled, turning over to see the android towering over him like a tree.

"Am- am I wearing pajamas?" Ryan looked down his chest to discover that he was wearing a fresh pair of dark pajama shorts and an old band tee, tucked under his grey duvet. Wait, was his duvet always grey? He never had seen it without all its laundry piles...

"W- Where did the clothes go? Did you dress me while I was sleeping?" Ryan bolted up, head spinning. The android calmly placed a hand on his shoulder, its grip firm.

"Mr. Seaman, I did your laundry at the laundromat earlier this morning. I helped you change last night after you fell asleep. Now, don't worry, I kept your undergarments on-"

"Jesus Christ- what fuckin' time is it?" Ryan fell back down into his pillow, savouring the comfort he wasn't used to. The last time he'd slept in such a clean bed was... was when he still lived with his family.

"It is 11:30 in the morning, Mr. Seaman. You didn't request any specific time for me to wake you up, so I decided to make you brunch." The android offered his hand out to Ryan, which he took warily.

"W-what did you do?" He rubbed his eyes, which sent him to another dimension for a few seconds before they adjusted to the bright yellow colour of the android's shirt. "What the _hell_ are you wearing?"

"I've made adjustments to my wardrobe based on yours, Mr. Seaman. Part of my programming is to mimic your taste and style so our relationship can be as compatible as possible. Every time we interact I learn more and more about how to properly serve you."

The android was wearing a bright yellow floral dress shirt and black ripped jeans that looked just like Ryan's from the day before, but its hair was just as unkempt. Ryan wasn't going to let himself be attracted to a computer. Months ago he'd made fun of the sex androids in a magazine left open on someone's amp, and he wasn't going to change his opinion now.

"By the way, Mr. Seaman, I do have a name you can refer to me by." It smiled with a boyish nature. "My name is Dallon."

"You're a robot... of course you have a name. That's totally normal." Ryan murmured as he rolled out of bed and brushed shoulders with the android... or Dallon. "How did you buy this food?"

"Last night I took your suggestion and rested on your couch. After ten minutes of resting I discovered a bundle of cash underneath your left cushion-"

"You used my emergency smoke cash?" No- fuck, no- I needed that!" He cried and ran to his couch, throwing the cushion away, the absence of his cash horrifying.

He groaned in frustration. "That's the money I save for smoking... I need that. Or I did need that." He grabbed at his hair and pulled, a habit that he picked up in high school. "I only have one pack left- I need to get cash."

Dallon looked concerned, or at least concerned for a computer. "Mr. Seaman, may I remind you, you needed food. Smoking is an extremely dangerous practise that causes many different sicknesses including cancer of the lung, cancer of the mouth-"

"You don't understand. You're a fucking robot! I've been smoking since middle school... I can't stop. I gotta find that agent-" Ryan rushed back into his room and threw together an outfit, surprised that his clothes were actually where they were supposed to be. "What's his name? Your- your handler or whatever."

"You must be referring to Cyberbio Agent Mark Bennett. I believe he left you his contact information on his business card." Dallon stared blankly at Ryan as he struggled to pull up his pants, foot going through one of the ripped holes.

"Oh, so you were listening that entire time, great." He grumbled, fixing his hair in his bathroom mirror and giving up when it kept falling into his eyes.

He remembered the first time he dyed his hair. It was middle school and he was hanging around with a different crowd, people that didn't care about how clean their uniforms were or about how many times you went to church. They played music that made Ryan feel confident and strong, rather than a little kid being told what to do all the time. He liked that rebellious feeling, the feeling that he was doing something he wasn't supposed to. He was making his own rules now.

So he dyed his hair.

At first it was just the tips, then black, then he settled on blue. He'd had the same blue hair for years and could always count on his barber buddy to take a few bucks off his final bill. In return Ryan would play at any event he needed, like his niece's Bat Mitzvah or his mother's wedding (they weren't the best crowd, but he still got free food).

"Is there anything I can do to assist, Mr. Seaman? May I remind you that I have made a nutritious brunch, or I could put a pot of coffee on." Dallon was sitting on the edge of Ryan's bed, hands folded on his lap.

"Coffee would be... fine. I'm going to take a smoke outside and then I'll call your agent guy." Ryan pushed his heavy apartment door open with the force of his whole body and took his time going down the stairs. It was rushing that made him fall last time, and he didn't need any new injuries on top of his preexisting ones.

When Ryan made it outside, he lit his cigarette and too a drag, trying to calm his nerves. Everything would be alright. He would get his money from the agent and build up a new stash. His android could take care of every chore for the rest of his life.

It would be fine.

_Right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ryan? is a mess.
> 
> Dallon? is an android.
> 
> Why did I write this? No idea but I really liked the idea so I'm gonna run with it.
> 
> I hope everyone is safe and healthy! Expect chapter two in maybe a week? Maybe? Who knows.


	2. Chapter 2: I don't believe whatever this is (until you burn all of the witches)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan adjusts to day-to-day life with Dallon while dealing with his own inner struggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Lots of homophobic language in this chapter including the f slur and q slur.
> 
> Please only read if comfortable! Thank you and remember you are valid <3

When Ryan swung open his apartment door, he wasn't expecting to see Dallon standing in his kitchen, pouring what Ryan assumed was hot coffee.

"Welcome back, Mr. Seaman. How would you like your coffee?" Dallon said, the corners of his mouth turned up in a bright smile. The apartment was cleaner than the day Ryan had bought it. No more overflowing garbage bin, no more piles of laundry that you had to be careful to avoid, no more yellow counters.

That son of a bitch was good.

"Uh, just black. I don't own any of that other junk." Ryan mumbled as he checked his phone for any messages.

In all caps at the top of his screen was a text message from some guy named Drew.

_'WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?'_ It read, and Ryan could hear his obnoxious voice echoing through his head. He was supposed to meet up with a band called ColdFront to play for them the next night, and he'd forgotten.

"That is where you are wrong, Mr. Seaman. I purchased milk and sugar among an array of other essential food items, therefore you would be welcome to adding either." Ryan thought he heard a hint of smugness in the android's tone, but brushed it off as being preoccupied. It was a bigger band, and he needed that money more than ever. Sure, it would be nice to fall back on the obscure company's money, but he would never fully trust it, no matter how official they seemed.

"Mr. Seaman, if I may ask, why do you not smoke in your apartment building? Earlier this morning I found several of your neighbours smoking in their apartments."

"It's uh- it's not allowed in here. The difference between me and them is I can't afford to break the complex rules." Ryan said as he took the mug from Dallon's outstretched hand. It was a red mug with a picture of doves on the side, and it held nothing but bad memories and steaming hot coffee.

He'd bought his mother that mug with the last of his spending money right when he was moving into his current apartment. Ryan still remembered the day clearly. Her shoving it back in his face, telling him that she wouldn't accept anything from a homosexual, no matter how closely they were related. He could still remember the disgust in her eyes, the way his heart went hollow when she spat the last words he'd heard from her.

"You're going to hell with the rest of them. Don't talk to this family ever again."

And he hadn't. He kept his distance just like he was told. No more birthday parties, no more family reunions, no more warm feeling in his heart when he was surrounded by people he loved.

It didn't bother Ryan anymore. That part of him was shut off, hidden from everyone. No one needed to know about his past. No one wanted to.

Dallon sat across from Ryan and watched with anticipation as he took the first sip. "Does it meet your standards, Mr. Seaman?"

"Yeah, it's alright." Ryan said, struggling to text Drew back with one hand.

'Ill be there in ten mubites.' He'd hit the send button before realizing his mistake. Mubites? Really?

"I'm glad. Do you have any specific plans for today?" Dallon said, hands folded together on the table.

"I gotta meet up with my band- I mean, a band in a couple minutes." Ryan said, finishing off the coffee. Sometimes assholes would say drinking things quickly was his one talent. Sometimes he'd punch those assholes. Sometimes he'd get thrown out of bars.

"Would you prefer if I joined, or would you rather I stay here?" Dallon asked, taking the empty mug from the table and immediately washing it in the sink. Ryan noticed that his light was still blue, shining dimmer or brighter with every one of his movements.

"Uh, you can stay here." Ryan said, picking at the rubber case of his phone. "What's the deal with the thing on your neck?"

"You must be referring to my status indicator. It displays emotions, thoughts and energy based on my current environment. In the owner's manual there's a list describing each colour and it's meaning, if you're interested." Dallon dried the mug and placed it in a high shelf, perfectly in line with the rest of the glasses.

"I'll read the owner's manual when something goes wrong, thanks." Ryan stood up and pushed his chair in, something he hadn't done since being at home. The cleanliness of his android sure was rubbing off on him, and he wasn't sure what to make of it.

He was already thankful enough that he hadn't been murdered in his sleep and that the android had in fact cleaned his place instead of... well... doing whatever Ryan thought androids did. He now felt somewhat stupid for thinking that anything else would have happened. Look at how well Dallon was taking care of not only his apartment, but him too.

"I'm heading out now," Ryan yelled over his shoulder as he grabbed his drumsticks and bag, shoving a cold metal water bottle and a broken phone charger held together by tape in. He slung the bag over his back, catching the end of Dallon's farewell message.

"-hope you have a wonderful practice."

_\- Bring to me your sons and daughters -_

The rest of the band shot Ryan dirty look when he let himself in Drew's front door, flinching at the way it slammed behind him, the dusty blinds knocking into the window.

"Where the fuck were you? We already started." The bassist said. Ryan didn't know any of their names except for the lead singer's, so that made it even more embarrassing.

"Yeah I know, I'm sorry," He said, stepping over wires and random books strewn about on the carpeted floor. He was used to practicing in guy's houses, which usually accompanied a massive mess. "My alarm didn't go off."

Brian, the band's usual drummer, had his drum set and music sheets are already set up in the corner of the room. Ryan tossed his bag on the floor and made himself comfortable on the stool, stretching his hands.

The band begun, and Ryan caught up with their pace quickly. Drumming was something that came naturally to him, so once he learned the songs, his body was on autopilot, leaving him time to think about anything in the world.

He wondered what Dallon did while he was away. The common population didn't own androids, so Ryan had nothing to base his thoughts on, other than movies and television. Come to think of it, he knew nothing about Dallon.

"Ryan, you'll be at The Bayou tomorrow night, right?" Drew said, taking a sip of water during their break. The bassist was sitting on someone's amp, the guitarist looking through Drew's pantry.

Ryan snapped out of his daydream. "Yeah, I should be able to." Unless something terrible happened, he had nothing on his schedule. He never did.

The rest of the practice went fine, all of their lyrics going over Ryan's head. Talking about his emotions definitely wasn't his strong suit, so he didn't pay much attention to the songs other than their beat.

"Everyone but Ryan, great job. Ryan, don't be fucking late tomorrow." Drew spat, packing up his guitar. Ryan looked down at the drums and picked at his cuticles, avoiding the glares from the rest of the band. He didn't know what their deal was with time. Not one obscure band had cared this much about timing. In fact, it was usually them who were late, breath smelling of booze and stumbling around, leaning against music equipment while they waited for their mind to catch up.

Ryan got out of there quickly, half out of shame, half out of worry that his apartment had been burned down. It had started to rain outside, leaving little dots all over the pavement as Ryan made his way to his car, the humidity making his skin itch underneath his favourite leather jacket.

It took a couple tries to start his car, the engine sputtering like a smoker's cough. Sick of the silence, Ryan turned on the radio, flipping through channels.

" _-Weather experts— tonight and tomorrow— thunderstorms—_ "

The radio stuttered, a mishmash of different voices filling his car as rain started pounding his windshield. Lights turned into neon paintings, stop signs turning into blurred shapes. Ryan drummed his fingers on his wheel while stopped at a cross section, nodding along to whatever song was playing, the rain turning into something more violent.

Ryan had never liked storms, not since he was little. The lightning and thunder always made his heart beat rapidly, his hands starting to sweat while he gripped the steering wheel. He felt relieved when his building came into view, no charred black hole in the spot where his apartment was, no police or firefighters in the small parking lot.

"Welcome back, Mr. Seaman." Dallon said when Ryan slipped in through the doorway, dripping wet, blue hair plastered to his forehead. "Would you like me to fetch you a dry pair of clothes?"

Ryan shook his head and untied his boots, shining with rain water. Dallon was sitting on the couch with one lanky leg crossed over the other, turning around to gaze out the window at the growing storm outside. "How was your practice?"

"Fine. I'm starving though," Ryan pushing his hair back out of his eyes, peeling off his soaked jacket and tossing it on the radiator to dry. Dallon stood up and opened the chipped wooden cupboards, pulling out a ramen cup.

"You don't appear to have much fresh food, Mr. Seaman."

"I manage." Ryan answered, flopping onto his couch. He'd found the couch for sale outside of an old diner downtown, so obviously he had to buy it. It had lost its bright red colour, leaving it a greyish pink, but it was still comfortable and Ryan never had visitors.

Most of the furniture in his apartment was along those lines, worn and grey, but still functional. It made Dallon look even more out of place, something so modern and blank surrounded by items full of history and flaws. Ryan, on the other hand, blended right in with the furniture.

An excessively loud crack of thunder made Ryan jump, looking over his shoulder in fear. Rain was pelting the window behind the couch, an ominous group of dark clouds blanketing the sky. Ryan shivered, earning a concerned look from Dallon, his brows knit together.

"Does the storm frighten you, Mr. Seaman?" He said, placing a pot of water on the stove, his yellow sleeves rolled up.

"No, no, I'm not _frightened_. I just don't like them..." Ryan mumbled, not wanting Dallon to view him as wimpy, even though Dallon had metal for a brain.

"If it's any comfort, we could shut the curtains," Dallon spoke calmly as he poured the boiling water into the cup, closing the lid. "Astraphobia is a very common fear. It's nothing to be shameful of."

Ryan accepted the ramen and spoon from Dallon, watching as he briskly shut the tacky navy curtains and sat next to him. "Is it to your standards, Mr. Seaman?"

"Yeah, it's about as good as cup noodles go. Thanks for-" Ryan went to say something sappy and stopped himself. He didn't need to let a computer know what he felt. He didn't owe anyone anything.

"Do you have a romantic partner, Mr. Seaman?" Dallon asked after a few moments of silence, his blue eyes glossy in the yellow haze of the apartment.

"Uh... _no_ , no I don't." Ryan said, shoving spoonfuls of warm noodles into his mouth. Ramen was a comfort food for him, bringing him back to his high school days.

"That's unfortunate. You are rather lonely, and I feel that a partner could fix that."

"Oh wow- thanks, that makes me feel so great," Ryan said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Dallon only smiled charmingly in response.

"By the way Mr. Seaman, I do believe you were going to call Agent Mark Bennett?" Dallon said, crossing his long leg over his knee in a similar fashion as before.

"Fuck- right, I forgot, thanks." Ryan fished his phone and his wallet out of his back jean pocket, flipping through years of unused gift cards and coupons. He triumphantly pulled the white card out, just as blank and clean as Dallon.

He rung the number on the card, Dallon watching intently. It rung and rung, until going to a robotic voicemail asking for his name. No way was Ryan going to give his name to a company that creeped him out.

He hung up and dropped his phone on the couch in between him and the android. Dallon's light flickered as he watched it fall, placing a hand on it.

"Mr. Seaman, if you and I are to live together for an extended period of time, I suggest that you give me permission to scan your phone so I can better suit to your interests and needs."

Ryan narrowed his eyes, suspicious. "Why do you want to go through my phone? Are you a narc?"

Dallon looked taken back. "Mr. Seaman, your information is secure. It doesn't go to anyone, including my superiors. I have a legal obligation to keep it private." Dallon's baby blue eyes were wide with innocence. "If I make one mistake, my system is shut down, and I'd like to keep sentience."

Ryan contemplated this. He didn't have anything illegal on his phone. It couldn't hurt for Dallon to look through, could it?

It must have been something in Dallon's open face, or the way his eyes twinkled that made Ryan agree.

"...fine. You can look through." Ryan murmured, getting up to toss the empty cup and throw his spoon in the sink.

When he got back to the couch Dallon had the phone on his lap, face down, one hand placed on top. His light was green and flickering steadily, his eyes closed, giving Ryan a moment to appreciate how long and thick his eyelashes were.

Dallon opened his eyes, light turning back to blue.

"Thank you, Mr. Seaman. I do believe that our time together will be much more enjoyable." He said, passing Ryan his phone back. Ryan took it cautiously, like it was a bomb that would explode if his movements were too quick.

"Did you- are you- was it okay?" Ryan tripped over his words, unsure what to say. It was his first time having his phone probed by an android after all.

"It was quite interesting, I must say." Was all that Dallon said. Ryan didn't know how to take this. What did he find?

Another crack of thunder made Ryan jolt, covering his ears and squeezing his eyes shut. "Fuck- god, it's bad out there-"

"It's supposed to rain for the next couple hours, Mr. Seaman. There is a tropical storm further south that's causing this sudden thunderstorm. May I recommend that you rest now and wake up early?" Dallon said.

"That's... actually not the worst idea you've had. Goodnight then," Ryan left Dallon sitting on the couch and changed into the same clothes from the night before. He might be living more orderly, but he wasn't going to waste clothes that were clean enough.

He settled under the covers and tried to sleep, the ambient noise of the rain pattering against his bedroom window filling the room.

Ryan turned over and felt odd. Someone else was watching him, standing in the room-

"D-Dallon?" He opened his eyes to see Dallon next to the bed, staring at him. "What's wrong? Do you need some WD-40 for your joints?"

"Mr. Seaman, you seem unable to sleep because of the weather. Would you like me to accompany you in bed?"

"W-What? N-No!" Ryan sat up quickly. "Sorry, it's just- I can sleep by myself, thank you very much. I'm not _five_."

Dallon turned around and walked out, closing the door behind him. "Very well. Have a good sleep, Mr. Seaman." Ryan couldn't be sure, but he thought he heard disappointment in the android's voice.

Ryan didn't fall asleep for awhile, tossing and turning, the storm outside growing worse as the storm inside his head calmed.

_\- 'cause Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder -_

Ryan woke up earlier than he had in months, the golden rise of the sun filtering through his tacky spotted curtains.

He sat up groggily, rubbing his sleep caked eyes as they adjusted to the bright light. He stumbled into his bathroom, tripping over his plaid pajama pants, rubbing his face tiredly.

Even though he was caught up on his sleep, there were still massive bags under his eyes, blue hair spiking every which way, an uncomfortable amount of stubble on his face.

People always joked that he always looked like he wanted to murder someone, and this morning, he had to agree. Ryan had a callous resting face, he couldn't help it. It scared away anyone who didn't want to take him seriously.

He had just begun shaving when his bathroom door burst open so hard Ryan thought it would fly off its hinges.

"Ah!" He flinched, dropping his razor in the sink, seeing Dallon appear next to him. "What the hell?"

"Good morning Mr. Seaman," Dallon said, looking perfect as usual. He was wearing a red bomber jacket, equally as bright as the light on his neck, dark hair falling into his face. "How did you sleep last night?"

Ryan leaned over the sink, examining the small cut on his chin, exasperated. " _Fine_. I slept fine."

"Very good. I've already made coffee and your bed, Mr. Seaman." Dallon said, standing perfectly still next to Ryan, watching as he splashed cold water on his face. That's all Dallon ever did. Watch.

"Thanks," Ryan said, picking up shaving where he left off before Dallon scared him.

"What are your plans for today, Mr. Seaman?" Dallon asked, grabbing Ryan's comb and inspecting it.

"Uh..." Ryan mumbled, mouth full of toothbrush. "I got- one second-" He spit out the toothpaste and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I'm playing at a bar tonight."

"That's rather exciting. May I join?" Dallon's voice was smooth and clear. He begun to run the comb through his thick hair, staring at himself in the mirror with those empty blue eyes.

"I mean... I guess." Ryan muttered, confused at what Dallon was doing. "Like what you see?"

"My appearance has always troubled me, Mr. Seaman." Dallon said, one sharp eyebrow crooked. "I assume I was created in the image of a attractive male, but I can't say I agree. I feel that attractiveness comes somewhere from within, and I still have much to learn about human morals."

"That's deep," Ryan said backhandedly, shuffling back into his bedroom, soft pants getting caught in the sharp jagged edges of the wooden floor.

He checked his phone for the first time that morning and was surprised to find three missed calls and ten texts from Drew. Most of them read the same gist;

_'We cancelled tonight. Bar moved us over to tomorrow night. Don't be fucking late._ '

Ryan groaned, tossing his phone on the bed.

"What's wrong?" Dallon said from behind him, standing in the bathroom doorway, looking ominous with the yellow light behind him.

"The band postponed tonight," Ryan said as he slipped off his shirt and pants, unfazed by Dallon's staring. Hey, the guy said his information was private, what did it matter that he saw him getting changed? The sane part of Ryan couldn't believe he was thinking like this, but there was something about Dallon that made Ryan less cautious. "We're playing tomorrow instead."

Dallon's face twisted into something sympathetic. "That must be frustrating, Mr. Seaman." He sat next to Ryan on the bed, staring as Ryan pulled up his mismatched socks. "I do have good news though. Have you checked your bank account recently?"

Ryan turned to face him, a small smile creeping up on him. "Wow, you're really learning how to speak more humanly, huh?"

Dallon beamed in return, proud of himself.

Ryan pulled up his bank account from his phone and was delighted to see a transfer for 2500 dollars.

"So they weren't bullshitting me... you know what this means?" Ryan gave Dallon a sly grin, buttoning up the last pearly white buttons of his flowery dress shirt. "I can finally try that new sushi shop at the mall."

"How exciting. May I join?"

"I mean... as long as you can function in public, sure."

"I assure you I can, Mr. Seaman. We have a date."

Ryan stopped mid-step on his way out of his bedroom, shaking his head. Dallon was just using a commonly known expression. It was nothing to get worked up about, right?

He sat on the rubbery grey mat at the entrance of his apartment, tying up his scuffed boots.

"Where are you going?" Dallon asked, standing in the middle of the living room awkwardly.

"To smoke. I'll be back in ten."

The sun was shining as bright as Dallon's status light, dead vermin littering the ground around the crumbling apartment foundation, weeds that had been dying now green and replenished with life.

It was kind of like Ryan and Dallon.

Before Dallon had been given to Ryan, his days were uneventful and bland, blurring together into one grey life. Just like the brown weeds that sprung up in every sidewalk crack, getting stepped on, not growing to their full potential.

Then Dallon showed up, all prim and proper and different than anything that Ryan had ever seen. Something about the way Dallon looked at him made his heart beat a little faster and his palms sweat whenever he thought about those icy eyes staring back at his, clear of any judgement. Just like the storms that frightened Ryan, but by the end, everything was better off.

Or maybe Ryan was the dead squirrels rotting under the heat of the sun that had never seen the storm coming. Too trustful, too naive, and it had bit them in the ass.

When Ryan came back Dallon was standing by the door, holding out a mug of coffee. That same red mug from his past. Every time he though about his family it stung, like touching an open wound over and over, and if he didn't stop touching it, it'd never heal over.

"Thanks..." He mumbled, taking the mug from Dallon's hands.

For the rest of the morning he sat at his rickety kitchen table, updating his ads on his garbage laptop.

"God- piece of _shit!_ " Ryan shook the computer in hopes that it would unfreeze the screen.

"Why don't you buy a new laptop?" Dallon said, peeking at him from behind the screen, sitting across the table.

"I don't need a new laptop, I need better wifi."

"Yes, I did realize that your wifi is cheap. You're using a plan from 1998 that was here before you moved in in 2013."

Ryan was surprised for a split second before remembering that Dallon had looked through his phone.

"...What else do you know about me?"

"Ryan Eric Seaman. Born September 23, 1983. Extremely talented at playing the drums and terrible at clearing his search history."

Dallon was smirking.

"W-What?!" Ryan pushing the laptop out of the way, giving him a clear view of Dallon's smug face. "I-I uh... I don't know what you're referring to."

"Don't play dumb, Mr. Seaman. You haven't had a sexual partner in months, so I can understand why you'd-"

"Shut up!" Ryan stammered, face flush. "Just- _please don't say anything_. It could ruin my career if anyone knew about my sexuality."

Dallon's face changed quickly from its tight-lipped smile to a grimace. "Why is that?"

"Everyone around here is homophobic. Like, _badly_. I learned that the hard way."

It had been a brisk autumn day, wind pushing orange and brown leaves around the parking lot as Ryan strode through, head held high. Excitement bubbled in his chest as he thought about playing his first gig in front of a real crowd. Sure, it was the lunchtime crowd at a trashy bar, but that didn't dampen his spirits.

He was wearing a new leather jacket decorated with a plethora of different pins, bright colours contrasted against the black leather. One had his favourite band, one had his favourite T.V. show from his childhood (Full House) and one was a pride pin. If he was going to play for a crowd, they were going to see the real him that'd he'd been hiding for years, not the fake image he'd built of himself.

He pushed open the backdoor to the stage, the buzzing feeling growing. His stomach was flipping like his younger sister did at all her gymnastic tournaments, so sue him. It was much different than playing for his parent's old records hanging in their basement, the only one making fun of him if he messed up being himself.

The other members of the band came into view, standing around chatting while waiting for their cue.

"Hey Ryan," One of the guitarists said, attracting the attention of the rest of the band. "Nice fit- wait, what's _that_?"

The guitarist was pointing to Ryan's pride pin, face twisted in disgust.

"Are you a fag?" The lead singer said, voice dripping with abhorrence and hate. The rest of the band was now staring at him in disbelief, their brows furrowed.

"Dude, nice joke," The bassist playfully punched Ryan's shoulder, but the realization dawned on him when Ryan's open mouthed demeanor didn't change.

"You're a _queer_?"

Ryan's heart was shriveling, his excitement replaced but a vile taste in his throat, chest squeezing impossibly tight.

"Uh- um-" He didn't know what to say.

"Get the fuck out of here, faggot." The lead singer spat, arms crossing as he stepped away from Ryan like it was a contagious disease.

"Guys- c'mon, _please_ -" Ryan squeaked, voice incredibly small. It was the incident with his mother all over again.

"Yeah, we're not gonna have a homo playing for us. Don't bother showing up again." They turned away from him, shooting him the same type of glares they'd shot the homeless man outside when he asked for money.

"-I can't believe we actually let a _queer_ play with us," One of them said.

"It touched Matt's drum set. You know he's gonna have to buy a new one now, right?"

_It._

Since that day Ryan changed his entire personality. He developed a hard outer shell, hiding away any 'feminine' part of his personality. No more Jeffree Star shorts, no more crying, and especially no more dating other men.

He shouldn't be feeling this way about Dallon. Dallon looked like a man, and he wasn't even human. It was wrong and could jeopardize his entire life.

Dallon put his hand on top of Ryan's in a comforting gesture. "That's terrible, Mr. Seaman."

Ryan's heart sped up again. It was worthless. Dallon's kindness was breaking down Ryan's outer shell and he couldn't stop it. He was too touch starved to deal with this.

"It's uh-" He cleared his throat. "It's Ryan."

Yup, he was falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Woah that was fast!" - you, probably
> 
> Yes, it was fast indeed. Why? Because this fic is my new addiction and I can't stop writing.
> 
> Lemme know what you thought in the comments!! Every comment I get absolutely makes my day :)
> 
> Expect next chapter... in a week? Who knows, time is a concept created by clock companies to sell more clocks.
> 
> (Thanks for reading!)


	3. Chapter 3: I wanna take you home (a night out on the town)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan has a revelation while playing at the bar, and explicit events follow which leave him even more internally conflicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: There is smut in this chapter!! Please only read if you're comfortable.
> 
> Thanks! :)

Dallon was standing in the front entrance, watching blankly as Ryan shrugged on his coat and tied his boots.

"-and you're sure you'll be okay in the crowd?" Ryan asked, looking up at the tall figure almost looming over him. Dallon might only be a couple of inches taller than Ryan, but he was still a giraffe compared to everyone else. Ryan remembered how short the Agent was compared to Dallon, and how he thought he was going to be murdered.

Things had definitely changed.

"Ryan, I assure you, I'll be _fine_." Dallon smiled that boyish smile of his, reaching out a cold hand to help Ryan up.

Ryan stared dumbfounded at Dallon for a second, mesmerized by Dallon's perfect grin. He was fighting the aching feeling in his chest, part of him reassuring him that it was only natural to have these feelings, the other half of him screaming about how wrong it was, how it'd never work and how no matter how much he wanted to fall into Dallon's long arms, he couldn't.

He was chanting the same phrase over and over in his head like a mantra.

_'You're only feeling like this because you're touch starved.'_

"Are you alright?" Dallon asked, a crease appearing between his sharp eyebrows.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Let's just go." He said, turning away from Dallon's quizzical stare. He was fine. He would be fine.

Ryan caught a glimpse of himself in the dirty mirror placed beside the front closet, appearance covered by smudges and fingerprints.

He was wearing his leather jacket and a black button up adorned with red flowers, something he'd found at a thrift store years ago. The red flowers matched the shade of his flush face identically. He needed to calm himself down.

Ryan said nothing to Dallon as they made their way down the disgusting stairs and into his car, feeling Dallon's stone-faced gaze on the back of his head. He flinched in his seat when Dallon's car door slammed behind the android, Ryan's nerves standing on end.

"Are you sure you're alright, Ryan?" Dallon asked as Ryan fumbled for his keys.

"Yes, I said yes, _okay_?!" Ryan accidentally shouted, jamming the keys into the ignition, frustrated. He immediately regretted it as soon as he say Dallon's surprised face. "Sorry, I'm... just stressed about performing."

The night before Ryan and Dallon had eaten at a sushi restaurant in the scrappy mall near his apartment. Well, only Ryan ate. Dallon educated Ryan on every dish he ordered, earning a confused look from the workers and the attention of everyone sitting near them. Ryan had made sure that Dallon was wearing a turtleneck that covered the blue light on his neck, and he looked better than Ryan wanted to admit.

"Hey," Ryan had said, swallowing the last of his crab roll. "Where do you get your clothes?"

"All of my clothes are synthetic holograms, Ryan. You can feel them, but they aren't actually there." Dallon had responded louder than Ryan would've liked, making other patrons turn their heads in confusion.

"Shh- okay, I get it, thanks." Ryan answered, hanging his head low. He didn't want anyone he knew to see him eating out with another man, especially a man like Dallon. Even if he wasn't a man.

Now it was the next day, last night long forgotten and replaced with worries about performing live. Sure, he was nervous before every show, but this was different. Dallon would be there, no doubt drawing attention to himself and Ryan. As a drummer Ryan could usually slink away into the shadows without any questions, making a quick escape before anyone could ask him about himself. But now that Dallon was there? Good luck getting out with that tree.

"Everyone gets stage fright, Ryan. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be great." Dallon said, sitting upright with square shoulders, staring forward at the dark horizon. Compared to Dallon, Ryan should be ringing the bells at Notre Dame.

As Ryan turned into the bar's cramped parking lot, his headlights caught a couple making out in the shadows, obviously trying to hide from everyone.

"Gross..." Ryan murmured, turning off the car and grabbing his bag from the back seat. Dallon was looking around, eyes wide with curiosity. Ryan supposed that Dallon didn't have very much experience in public, especially in such a dirty dump of a bar. Why did all those bands choose the worst places to play at?

"Don't go anywhere, don't do anything weird, and _definitely_ don't talk to anyone. Can you do that?" Ryan said as he pushed open the back door, already overwhelmed with the sticky heat hanging in the air.

"Yes, Ryan. You don't have to worry about me." Dallon answered reassuringly, looking almost angelic in the dim lights backstage. His messy hair had a yellow halo around it, golden light outlining his white dress shirt as he placed a lanky hand on Ryan's shoulder. "I'm so excited to finally watch you perform. You're going to be amazing."

"Okay okay, keep it in your pants." Ryan rolled his eyes, subconsciously leaning into Dallon's firm touch. "The door to the stage is just over there- just go down the stairs and hang out at one of the tables. And _don't talk to anyone!_ " It wasn't Ryan's first time playing at The Bayou, so he knew his way around, especially the way to stay hidden. He just hoped Dallon could stay under the radar well enough.

Dallon nodded and slipped through the door, cracking an encouraging smile and a thumbs up before disappearing into the shadows.

Ryan shook his head, all his infatuating thought about Dallon swirling around like white pieces in a snow globe. He had to start focusing on performing so that he'd be paid later that night.

"'Sup Seaman," Drew said as Ryan walked into the back room. "Who's that tall glass of water you were talking to?"

Ryan's heart sunk. "Uh, that guy? He's just... He was asking about some drumming stuff."

"Chill. You ready to play tonight?"

Ryan nodded, head flooding with relief as he pulled out a chair as sat down with the rest of the band. Thank god none of them cared about him enough to ask any more questions.

Time flew by and before he knew it, he was settling down onto the black stool, drumsticks in hand. Over the sea of heads he could make out one distinct one, taller than the rest of the crowd, smiling warmly. No one paid any attention to Dallon, too busy making slurred conversation with people that were halfway to wasted, a couple of pairs of eyes turned upon the band. Everything would be alright.

Once they started Ryan fell into a routine, improvising in some parts even though he was chastised for it during practice. This was one of the rare bands that actually had their own songs, rather than playing only covers of old 90s anthem rock, something that Ryan despised even though he'd never written a song himself.

He was trying to focus on the beat and tempo of the song, but there was something bothering him, buzzing in the back of his brain. He couldn't figure out what the feeling was, why everything seemed askew. Ryan was doing what he loved most in life, making music, but there was something missing.

Before coming out he'd never dated anyone, but it wasn't like he was ever asked. Love was just off the table for him. Ryan knew what he wanted to do in life, and had only focused on that rather than building relationships. People would come and go, but he could always count on his drum set being there at the end of the day.

Why didn't he feel satisfied?

Ryan had dated a few men in the past years, but none of them ever stuck out particularly. Every relationship was short lived that always ended in a text, explaining why while Ryan seemed like a "nice guy" they just weren't a proper match and Ryan didn't mimic their energy, or some bullshit like that. It didn't ever bother Ryan as much as it should've, but maybe that was because he was bad at dating and never cared enough about anyone to want to keep them.

He thought about what it'd be like to lose Dallon. He definitely didn't want to lose Dallon, ever really. Was that normal? Or was that just Ryan's clingy side getting the best of him? He hadn't dated anyone in so long, he didn't trust his judgement. He didn't even trust himself to make proper decisions.

A wave from the crowd made Ryan snap out of his thick haze of thoughts. It was Dallon, grinning widely, giving him another cheesy thumbs up.

At the exact same moment, for the first time in his life, his ears decided to pick up the lyrics that the band was singing.

_"Maybe it's just,_   
_The way you look at me,_   
_Or maybe I'm wrong,_   
_And this isn't reality,_

_It doesn't really matter,_   
_If this is a dream,_   
_Because I know that it's love,_   
_And that's what it seems,_

_You'll always be there,_   
_I can't imagine losing you,_   
_But girl hold me tonight,_   
_As I fall for those baby blues,"_

Ryan was in love with Dallon.

Everything came crashing down around him as he stopped drumming, stunned by his revelation. The bassist shot him a dirty scowl but continued to play, just as the world kept going even though time had froze for Ryan.

He _couldn't_. It wasn't right to love a robot. And he could lose everything he had - his job, his house, and the thing he loved most, drumming.

But was life worth living without love? Every day was grey before, scrapping together cash to get by, watching abysmal porn in replacement of a real relationship. He thought he was fine without someone he loved. But was he?

Ryan started drumming again, pace much slower than he was supposed to be playing. The crowd didn't seem to notice anything, faces happy with ignorance and bliss unawareness. Every face but one.

Dallon had his concerned look on, blue light peeking out from under his collar. Ryan couldn't even stand to look at him. What would he do? What would he say? Ryan knew himself well enough to know that he wouldn't be able to act normally around Dallon now, his knowledge hanging heavily over him like a dark cloud.

What choice did he have but to tell him?

What if Dallon's system malfunctioned and he couldn't process it? What if Dallon said no? What if this entire thing was an elaborate prank on him set up by someone looking to expose Ryan?

Ryan finished the show without another slip up, hands shaking as he made his way off stage.

"Dude, what the fuck was that?" The bassist grumbled, glowering at him pointedly. "You messed up the entire song."

"I just-" Ryan stammered, preoccupied by the thousands of ' _what ifs_ ' flooding his head. "I just forgot the notes, it was an accident."

"It better have been a fuckin' accident." Drew appeared next to the bassist, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. "Whatever, man. Can I write you a check for tonight?"

Ryan nodded, stomach uneasy. He needed to get back to the comfort of his own home where he could think straight, the burden of his thoughts dulled by the familiar atmosphere. He wanted to smoke and sort out his mind.

"Hey, don't cash until Friday though." Drew scribbled onto a check before ripping it and shoving it into Ryan's hands, giving him a small paper cut on his calloused thumb.

Ryan slithered through the backstage door that Dallon had gone out, searching the crowd for the tall android.

"Ryan, you were great! What happened halfway through though?" Dallon said, appearing out of nowhere, pushing his dark brown hair out of his eyes. Even for a night at a dumpy bar, he still looked perfect.

"Uh- I uh- nothing- it's just nothing. I made a mistake." The words were impossible to get out, Ryan staring at the ground, trying to avoid Dallon's eyes.

' _As I fall for those baby blues._ '

The lyric rang out in Ryan's head, a teasing tune. He needed to get away from the insufferable noise of drunk strangers and home, where nobody and everybody would be watching him.

"Let's get out of here." Ryan yelled, unsure if Dallon could hear him over the noise of the bustling sea of people, voices crashing like the waves.

He shoved open the back exit and stormed to his car, breathing a sigh of relief once he was in, door closed.

"That was quite exciting, Ryan. I'd love to join you again on another one of your shows." Dallon said, unfazed by Ryan's sour demeanor.

Ryan didn't answer, gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were as white as Dallon's dress shirt.

When they arrived at his apartment Ryan quickly exited the car, almost running away from Dallon. He needed to distance himself before he accidentally let it slip that he was in love, but how? Dallon lived with him. It was impossible to avoid him.

Ryan knew he had no other choice but to tell him.

It must have been Dallon's long legs that let him catch up with Ryan so fast, standing right behind him as Ryan struggled to put in his keys, hands trembling. What was wrong with him?

The warm air of the apartment was comforting, calming Ryan's jittering nerves. He was going to do it. He was going to tell Dallon that he loved him.

"H-Hey Dallon-" Ryan sat down on his worn couch, sinking into the soft cushions like he was trying to hide. "Could you- could we sit?"

"Sure. What's the matter?" Dallon made himself comfortable next to Ryan, leaning back and propping his head up with his hand, pale skin looking ghostly in the moonlight coming from outside.

"I- I have something to tell you-" Ryan said, waves of nausea washing over him, heart beating faster than the beats of his drum.

"Yes?" Dallon smiled, one sharp eyebrow crooked.

He was going to do it.

"Dallon, I think- I think I'm _in love with you._ "

_Fuck._

"That's rather surprising news, Ryan, but," Dallon said, looking the complete opposite of surprised. "I have to tell you something too."

Ryan's heart was beating like a hummingbird's wings.

"I've also become infatuated with you. After living with you, I think-" It was the first time that Dallon had ever paused in the middle of a sentence. "I think that I've fallen in love with you too."

_Fuck part two._

Dallon was in love with Ryan? How? Was that even possible?

Yet, Ryan wanted it to be possible. Badly.

"Uh- I-" Ryan couldn't talk.

Then Ryan's body gained a mind of its own, leaning forward, and he kissed Dallon.

_He kissed Dallon?!_

Ryan jerked away, eyes wide with fear, his body going cold.

"D-Dallon, I'm so sorry, I didn't-"

Dallon leaned it, kissing Ryan back, cutting him off midsentence. His lips were surprisingly soft, his touch gentle and chaste.

Ryan rested his hands on Dallon's bony shoulders, plastering his body to the tall android's, a gasp escaping him as Dallon grabbed Ryan's hips.

Dallon deepened the kiss, surprising Ryan by slipping his tongue into Ryan's mouth. Dallon had a tongue? Although, Ryan had never paid much attention to Dallon's mouth other than being mesmerized by his charming smiles.

Ryan let out a small moan, climbing onto Dallon's lap and running his hands through that thick head of hair, dark and surprisingly feathery. Dallon slid his hands under Ryan's button up, grip tight, holding him in place as Ryan rubbed himself all over Dallon, a wet patch already forming on his underwear.

Ryan was horny out of his mind. He hadn't had sex in over a year, and Dallon was incredibly attractive.

"D-Dallon..." Ryan whispered against the android's lips, Dallon's blue eyes hooded and dark, pupils blown wide. Something underneath Ryan was pressing into his thighs, making him smirk. He didn't know Dallon had this feature, but he wasn't complaining. " _Fuck me Dallon_ , p-please..."

Dallon's light was bright pink, shining into Ryan's eyes as he begun unbuttoning the man's shirt, lips glued to Ryan's. Little whimpers were falling out of him with every roll of his hips into Dallon's stomach, the friction teasing him, making more precome spill out of his cock. He didn't even know what he was doing anymore. It was like he had no control over his own actions, letting his lust get the best of him, but Ryan loved it.

Once Ryan's chest was exposed, Dallon helped him slip off his shirt and dropped it on the floor to be cleaned up later. He ran his long fingers across Ryan's chest, staring at him with some sort of fascination, face lit up by a lamp next to them, the only light on in the room.

Now shirtless, Ryan savoured the touch, letting a shiver wash over him, a fuzzy feeling beginning to grow in his head.

"Dallon- _Dallon_ -" Ryan's voice trembled as he tightened his legs around Dallon's torso. "Are you- can you- _y'know_..."

"Yes Ryan," Dallon answered, giving him a devilish grin. "I can, y'know."

Dallon pressed his palm to Ryan's heart, hand cold against Ryan's skin which felt like it was on fire. "Your heart is beating rapidly. Do I excite you?"

Ryan groaned. "Fuck, yes Dallon- please, c'mon-" He was desperately rutting against Dallon, becoming more and more impatient by the second.

Dallon tsked, moving his hands from Ryan's hips to his sides as he picked him up in one fluid motion, making Ryan squeal unexpectedly.

He was turning to putty in Dallon's touch, unsure what to make of it. Usually he was in charge in the bedroom, but he liked this much better, completely gone under Dallon's spell.

Dallon sat Ryan down on the bed and disappeared into Ryan's bathroom, coming out with a towel, which he laid on the bed. Jesus, Dallon was still clean even during foreplay.

Ryan's eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness of his room, moonlight shining in through the window, creating a glint in Dallon's eyes as he picked him up again and laid him face down on the bed. He still had his jeans on and his cock was growing progressively more uncomfortable trapped in the denim, every small movement causing Ryan to gasp.

"Lift up your hips." Dallon instructed as he pulled down Ryan's pants. So this was happening. Dallon was going to see him naked for the first time, tonight.

Ryan did what he was told, face burning with unnecessary embarrassment into his pillow, every sound muffled. Dallon's cold fingers brushed against his waist as he hooked them in the jeans slid them down, dropping them on the hardwood floor. Then he was pulling off Ryan's boxers, making Ryan blush uncontrollably.

He craned his neck to look at Dallon, the position uncomfortable to hold. Dallon's shirt and pants were off too, leaving him with nothing but underwear. His skin was pale all over, a small patch of faint dark hair dusting his chest and a surprisingly toned body getting caught in the moonlight. He had determined air about him, brown hair falling into his dark eyes, sharp collarbones and jutting shoulder disks poking out of his skin. Every part of him seemed tuned to perfection, even his body was prim and proper and everything Ryan wanted it to be.

"W-Wait-" Ryan stuttered, unable to keep his eyes off the outline of Dallon's cock against his underwear. "Do we need protection? I- I'm not exactly sure how this works..."

"We don't need protection, Ryan," Dallon said. "Don't worry about anything. Just lay back and I'll make you feel good."

"You know how to- how- do you know how this works?" Ryan said, turning back to lay on his pillow, neck sore from looking at Dallon, arms folded to cradle his head.

"Ryan, I scanned your phone, remember? I watched ever porn video in your browser history."

Ryan's face grew two shades redder, going silent at Dallon's words. He wanted to get back to getting laid instead of being embarrassed of his own actions.

"Where do you keep the lube?" Dallon asked, voice low, sending shivers of anticipation down Ryan's spine. His cock was trapped between himself and the bed, growing more impatient with every minute.

"In- In the drawer."

The snap of the cap pierced the silence, and then there was the clatter of the bottle hitting the bedside table and Dallon's strong hand on his waist.

Then two cold fingers were circling his hole and Ryan's entire body rolled towards them, a guttural moan coming from the bottom of his throat.

"Dallon... please..." Ryan's voice surprised him, incredibly whiny. Dallon tsked again disapprovingly, grip tightening on Ryan's hip.

"Such a needy slut... just wait, you'll get what you want." Dallon's sudden change in vocabulary made Ryan's cock jump. He pushed his fingers in without any warning, warranting a high pitched gasp from Ryan.

"Unhhh- D-Dallon-" It took all of him not to back up onto Dallon's long fingers, chasing the pleasure of being full. Dallon begun to work his digits deeper into Ryan, just teasing his prostate.

He added a third finger, making Ryan cry out, biting his lip so hard that blood was drawn.

His entire body was on fire, the only thing on his mind the feeling of Dallon's fingers opening him up, taking his time and making Ryan whine louder and louder with every small press to his prostate. This was much better than how he expected the night to go: Dallon's fingers in his ass, the knowledge that Dallon actually loved him back, no matter how impossible it might be, and the fact that Dallon was calling him a slut.

"I-I'm open enough Dallon! P-Please- just fuck me- I need it!" Ryan cried, trying to fuck himself back on Dallon's fingers, but the tall android's grip was too tight, keeping him in place.

"What did I say?" Dallon's voice was glaringly dark, harshly thrusting his fingers deep, making Ryan choke on his own breaths.

"Be a good little slut," Dallon brought his face down next to Ryan's, the moonlight making his hair glow enchantingly, the look on his face proving that he was enjoying this. " _And I'll fuck you real nice_ , I promise."

Ryan moaned loudly, the fuzzy spot in his mind growing as Dallon scissored his lanky fingers, the feeling so unnatural to Ryan. The last time he'd had sex was over a year ago and he had been on the giving end, so he was not used to the new sensation. It didn't matter; Dallon was the man he fantasized about late at night; he would accept anything from him.

Finally, Dallon removed his fingers and Ryan felt something warm press to his hole, no doubt Dallon's cock.

He pushed in in one motion, not stopping until his hips were flush to Ryan's ass, making Ryan arch his back and cry out in pleasure.

"O-oh _god_ -" Ryan groaned, clawing at his sheets as a lewd moan escaped him. "Fuck Dallon! _Fuck that's so good!_ "

Dallon began to move slowly, both hands holding Ryan's hips so tight that he was going to have bruises later. The thought made Ryan delirious, low moans being drawn out of him with every thrust of Dallon's hips, the slapping noise of skin on skin creating goosebumps on Ryan's arms.

He was trying his best to hold off his orgasm, to focus on breathing, but Dallon began fucking him mercilessly from behind and Ryan couldn't think. He couldn't do anything but moan and cry into his pillow, arching his back as tears formed in his eyes.

"Do you like it?" Dallon asked, voice accompanied by quiet groans.

"F-Fuck Dallon- _yes_! Fuck, that's good- _yes, like that_ -" Through blurry vision he wrapped his hand around his own cock and stroked himself, trembling with every press of Dallon's cock to his prostate, dripping precome onto the towel beneath him.

His grasp began to slip as he sobbed into the pillow, unable to form words, head completely empty. He was so close to coming but he had to wait, had to draw this out. Ryan didn't even know if he was dreaming or if this was actually real and he was actually getting pegged by Dallon.

"You're being such a good little slut for me," Dallon purred, voice taunting Ryan. "Listen to all those pretty noises you're making, _hm_? You just can't get enough, can you?"

Ryan mumbled incomprehensibly into his pillow, mesmerized by Dallon's voice praising him. It was so out of character for Dallon to be in charge of Ryan, obviously using inspiration from some of the videos he'd found in Ryan's search history.

Dallon grabbed a fistful of Ryan's hair and yanked, not so hard that he pulled hair out but hard enough that Ryan's head was brought up with it, tears streaking his cheeks. " _What was that?"_

Ryan felt like marbles were in his mouth. "I-I love you Dallon..." He gasped when Dallon thrusted particularly hard, voice going up an octave. _"I love you so much!"_ A sob was ripped from his throat.

" _Good_ , good little slut." Dallon said approvingly, letting Ryan bury his face back in his pillow. "I love you too Ryan."

Ryan sobbed wordlessly, the words settling into his heart. Dallon loved him.

"I can't- 'm gonna _come_ -" He slurred, pleasure slithering up his spine, creeping up on him. His stomach ached, the feeling of his hole being endlessly played with intoxicating.

"Come then- c'mon, I know you want to be my come slut, sweetheart." Dallon said, voice dripping with sweetness even though his words were sharp and teasing. "Be a good little slut and come for me, hm?"

Ryan let out a choked up whine as pleasure crashed over him, body trembling under Dallon's hands. He was distantly aware that he was sobbing into his pillow as he came, his hands cramping up from gripping it so hard, vision going white as the world around him fell into a fuzzy golden haze.

"That's it... good boy, I've got you." Dallon pulled out slowly and turned Ryan around as he caught his breath, body going through aftershocks of such a powerful orgasm. He could barely make out Dallon's blurry figure, hair disheveled, a small smirk on his face, light flickering bright pink, eyes warm and welcoming. He watched silently as Dallon went into his bathroom and returned with a washcloth, cleaning up Ryan and pulling him close when he whimpered at the loss of Dallon's touch.

He felt Dallon help him get on a fresh pair of boxers and clean up after them, throwing his clothes and the soiled towel into his laundry hamper.

"Was that good, Ryan?" Dallon asked, settling into bed next to Ryan, pulling the covers over both of them. Ryan nodded and wrapped his arms around Dallon's thin figure, burying his face in the crook of Dallon's neck.

Ryan slipped his hand into Dallon's hair and begun playing with it, a comforting gesture for both of them. Dallon began to make a small, soft rumbling noise of satisfaction in his chest, pushing his head into Ryan's hand and stretching out like an oversized cat.

"Are you... _purring_?" Ryan asked, leaning into Dallon's warm embrace, scratching the android's head. Even if he wasn't human, he could still feel, right?

"Yes, do you not like it?"

"No, no, it's cute..." Ryan said, inwardly cringing at himself. Cute? Who was he becoming?

As the world around him cooled and the heat of his orgasm began to fade, the harsh reality of what he just did set it.

He broke his rules.

He had sex with another man. What if someone found out?

The fact that Dallon wasn't even a man was there, harsh and jagged. What did this mean? What if it was a trap? Ryan couldn't believe he let his emotions get the best of him and the fact that he let his guard down. He couldn't believe he had just been dicked down by a fucking robot for christ's sake.

But it was Dallon, with his beautiful eyes and charming smiles and perfect hair. A voice that calmed Ryan's nerves, a soothing touch and cute mannerisms that made Ryan's heart skip a beat. Everything about Dallon dulled his worries for the time being, trying to live in the moment, to appreciate the fact that he was cuddling with Dallon who was purring adorably while Ryan played with his hair and scratched his scalp.

Sure, it was weird. But it was what Ryan wanted. Right?

Could he make everything work out in the end? Would he actually be able to be with a man and continue pursuing his passion?

As most nights went, Ryan fell asleep while worrying, face buried in Dallon's neck and hand buried in his thick hair, warmth surrounding both of them. Ryan was soothed by the scent of Dallon's cologne, a light vanilla that smelled like his mom's house when she was baking cookies.

_\- You'll never know a single thing about me until it's far too late -_

Ryan woke up dazed and confused, convinced that the night before had all been a dream. That was, until he noticed Dallon's long legs tangled around his, long eyelashes dusting his cheeks, sky coloured eyes fluttering open. He looked angelic in the soft morning light, a small smile tugging at his lips, his light shining purple.

"Good morning, Ryan." Dallon said, calm and cool, the exact opposite of Ryan's internal thoughts.

"Uh- um," Ryan cleared his throat. "Good morning. Last night... did we really...?"

Dallon's smile widened, a hint of smugness hiding deep behind his eyes. "Yes Ryan."

Ryan sat up quickly and leaned against his bed's backboard, mind racing to catch up with him. "Oh... uh, wow."

He didn't know what to say.

"If you didn't enjoy it, I could keep this event isolated and we could both forget about it." Dallon said, one eyebrow crooked.

"No no no, that's not it. I really did..." The words were hard to get out. Ryan wasn't one for talking about feelings, and he felt like a naive teenager all over again. "I really did enjoy it. Being with you, I mean."

Dallon grinned, almost relieved.

He propped his head up with his arm and leaned against his pillow, the golden light shining between cracks in the curtains dancing on Dallon's face. Ryan's heart melted a little at the sight, everything falling into place.

It would be okay.

"Would you like coffee?" Dallon asked, suddenly sitting up.

"Oh, uh, sure. Thank you." He added the last part, unsure how to talk to Dallon now. He had been bitchy to him before, but now? He was stranded. He wanted to be kind to Dallon, but it had been so long since he'd been with anyone, he didn't know if he was doing the right thing.

Dallon disappeared into the main room, now wearing a red flannel jacket and jeans. Ryan got changed while he heard Dallon work in the kitchen, still fazed by the memories of the previous night. Before slipping on his own pair of jeans he inspected himself in the mirror, fingers tracing a collage of finger shaped bruises that were starting to turn purple on his hips. So it was real, and there were the receipts. He winced at the ache that came from pressing them, but part of the pain excited him, bringing him back to the bedroom last night. Dallon's hard grip on him, telling him to be good, fucking him ruthlessly.

He didn't even know Dallon could do that.

Ryan shuffled into his kitchen, accepting a warm cup of coffee from Dallon, shielding his eyes from the bright sun.

"Thanks."

Dallon nodded and sat down across from him, folding his hands and resting them on the rickety kitchen table, covered in miscellaneous scars from the multiple times Ryan had dropped things on it.

"Listen... about last night," Ryan ran a hand through his hair, trying the feign a lighthearted laugh but ending up with a nervous giggle. "Did you really mean what you said? I mean- I did, but y'know... you're an _android_."

Dallon's face broke out into a warm smile, something Ryan found himself missing every time it wasn't there, like the sun hiding behind the clouds. "I know it can be a lot to wrap your head around, but I was programmed to feel feelings and have likes and dislikes for people. I can form opinions and come to my own conclusions, and I've come to the conclusion that I have feelings for you."

Ryan didn't know enough about science to have any solid thoughts about what Dallon was telling him. Was it a load of bs? Or was a robot actually in love with him?

"You know, the human brain is quite like a computer. Minus the chemicals, me and you function in similar fashions."

Ryan took a sip of his coffee, expecting the usual bitterness and ending up with a sweet liquid.

"What- what did you put in this?"

Dallon leaned over the table, peering into the mug like he was looking for the answer in the drink. "I added milk and sugar. I wasn't sure what your real preference was since you said you couldn't afford the other ingredients before."

Ryan couldn't stop the small smile that creeped up on him, turning away so Dallon wouldn't notice. "Oh, thanks..."

He was ashamed of himself, and his worries still hung over him like those ominous storm clouds that hung over the sky the other day. Thoughts of what it meant if he begun dating Dallon were bouncing around his mind, echoes of his mother's and the old band's comments haunting him, mixing in with the rare reassuring voice telling him it would be fine, like sugar with poison.

Ryan couldn't think straight. He needed to get away from Dallon's sweet stare, to escape the memories of last night.

He got up abruptly, leaving the coffee sitting on table, and threw on his jacket. It was starting to get colder outside, the threat of snow hanging in the air, a biting wind that was only good to push around trash.

"Where are you going?" Dallon asked, brows knit with concern.

"To think."

He grabbed his pack of smokes from off the pristine counter and shoved his hands in his pockets, slamming the door behind him.

Ryan knew he shouldn't treat Dallon as harshly as he did just because he was frustrated and scared. It wasn't Dallon's fault, it was his own. He made a stupid choice and now he put himself in danger.

But part of him was angry for another reason. He should be allowed to date whoever he wanted. His life wasn't going to be controlled by homophobic strangers, and he was pissed at himself for giving in. Since when did he own anyone anything? He'd be defiant since he was a teenager, he shouldn't give in to the masses now.

Ryan grabbed at his hair in frustration, ignoring the stare of someone getting out of their car. Why was this so goddamn hard?

Before Dallon he never had any issues with romance. This stupid android was tearing apart his life, and he hated how much he liked it.

Not even smoking could keep his mind off Dallon. That's how he knew he'd have to make a decision, fast.

He either dated Dallon and risked his safety and job, or didn't date Dallon and live a miserable life.

He didn't like those odds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowie... insane, right?
> 
> I totally never saw that coming! Man, this fic is crazy.
> 
> It's almost like- okay, I can't keep this up. Sure, I'm predictable, but it's a lovable quality, right?
> 
> Expect next chapter in a week or two, or who knows? Not me, that's for sure.
> 
> As always, lemme know what you thought! Predictions? Compliments (boy I sure love those) or if you just wanna say hi, that's chill too. Thank you for reading! :) <3


	4. Chapter 4: Feels like we're having a good time (it's true, a wonderfully good time)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan finally feels like his life is turning around... until it's not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: There is references to marijuana and alcohol in this chapter! Please only read if you're comfortable :)
> 
> Ty for reading! <3

The hopeful part of Ryan's brain proposed a third option: date Dallon and keep it a secret.

Sure it was risky, but it was better than the last two options. His heart ached with want to date Dallon; he knew he had to. Ryan hated being so alone constantly with no one to turn to. He hated being numb to every feeling, living a lie that impacted no one but himself.

It wasn't fair. He deserved this.

Ryan made him way up the stairs slowly, stomach churning at the thought of what he was about to say to Dallon. Sure, they'd had sex the night before, but emotions were much harder to deal with. After being closed off for so long it was unnatural for him, like an animal in a new habitat, skittish and wary.

Dallon was standing at the sink washing dishes, sleeves rolled up. As soon as the apartment door squeaked Dallon's head turned, smiling widely.

"Welcome back, Ryan." That smooth voice rang out. Ryan had never paid much attention before, but now that adrenaline was coursing through him and he was hyper-aware of everything, he noticed how hollow Dallon's voice was. It had a inhumaine ring to it, too calculated and perfect.

Ryan tripped over his own feet as he shut the door behind him, leaning against the wall for support, ignoring the clatter of shit falling in the front closet. Dallon finished drying a glass and placed it delicately in a shelf, giving the counter a swipe with the towel.

"D-Dallon-" Ryan took a deep breath and sat down at the tablet, rickety chair creaking underneath him. "Uh, I just wanna say... if it's okay with you..."

Dallon pulled out a chair and sat with a certain poise, lips pursed with anticipation.

"I wanna- could we- do you wanna date?"

Dallon laughed, a bright sound that filled the room with warmth even though it was tinny. Ryan's heart skipped a beat, unsure of what to make of his response.

"I thought you'd never ask." He was beaming, his perfect row of teeth gleaming in the sunlight streaming through the window.

Ryan let his shoulders slump, all of the tension from his body disappearing, replaced with glee.

He laughed along with Dallon, heart feeling unbelievably light. He was dating Dallon. He was in love. The world was still spinning.

Ryan definitely wasn't religious, but he thanked god for this. He was finally in a relationship... even though it was with an android. It didn't matter; he was too giddy to care about the small issues, and Ryan was never giddy.

_\- Come break some hearts now, tear them out -_

Ryan and Dallon had been officially dating for a couple of days, and to Ryan's delight, nothing had gone wrong. I mean, it might be because he hadn't really left the house in those three days, but he was still positive about their relationship. He felt like a dumb teenager again, light hearted and chipper because of love.

Right after Ryan had asked Dallon to date, everything seemed a little brighter. His usually grey days started to have actual purpose. He loved waking up next to Dallon and seeing his perfect smile shining in the golden morning light, his disheveled brown hair mashed up against the pillow, flawless, empty blue eyes staring into his soul.

His favourite thing to do was to sneak up behind Dallon while he was doing the dishes and stand on his tippy toes, giving his cheek a peck. Dallon always whirled around red and flustered, eyes wide with embarrassment. Ryan loved it more than anything in the world.

Late at night, when Dallon was softly snoring beside him and the room was painted in different shades of darkness, the spell cast on him would wear off and his worries would catch up with him. There was so many things he didn't understand about Dallon, and so many different ways it could go wrong in an instant.

There was always a small voice nagging at the back of his head only had negative things to say. It constantly hissed in his ear, taunting and mocking him.

_'You're only in love because you're lonely.'_ It whispered late at night. _'It's fake. This is all fake. Dallon was built to please and serve you, no wonder he says he loves you.'_

Ryan would squeeze his eyes shut like that would silence his own thoughts, snuggling into Dallon's long arms, letting the warmth wash over him. Nobody he ever dated had wanted to cuddle before, so he didn't realize how much he was missing out on.

That morning was the same as any morning. Ryan was sitting at his table, sipping his sweet cup of coffee that Dallon had made, mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, looking for new gigs. There was a picture of his cousin's new baby, a black and white photo of some flower taken by an amateur photographer, and a bunch of slightly racist memes posted by his older relatives who didn't know enough about technology to block him.

Dallon was kneeling in front of the tiny, rust-caked oven, watching banana bread batter rise with intense concentration. If Ryan had learned anything about Dallon, he'd sit in that position until the oven dinged, room filled with the smell of the sweet loaf. Ryan could almost taste the moist bread, littered with chocolate chips that melted in his mouth and his hands. Ryan had to hand it to him; Dallon was an amazing cook.

It brought him back to his childhood home, when he'd help his mother bake tins of every dessert you could name. Sounds of his brothers screaming outside would filter in through the open window, two of them running by moments later, water guns in hand. Up until he died, the family's golden retriever would play with them, chasing the boys around the wide backyard, then trotting inside and dirtying the tiled floor of the kitchen with muddy paw prints. While Ryan much preferred to stay inside and work with his mother in the kitchen, he loved that dog to death.

Ryan refreshed his page, drumming his feet against the ground, a pop song playing on repeat in his head no matter how much he hated it. His phone vibrated in his hand, a grey text message notification from Drew appearing at the top.

_'Can u meet us at the Green Pig at 8?'_ It read, Drew's accent-coated voice interrupting his internal radio. The Green Pig was another bar, not far from Ryan's apartment.

Why would they want to meet? Ryan immediately started to sweat, worries of being caught rising in his head like Dallon's banana bread was in the oven. What if it was to harass him? Ryan had already finished business with them, and after messing up so badly while playing, he didn't want to encounter them again. Something about the bassist's dirty glare reminded him too much of the look he'd gotten from that homophobic band, disgusted and frustrated. And to make matters worse, he only knew 1/3 of their names.

Ryan swiped down and replied, trying to come off as laidback and easygoing in his response.

_'Yeah sure. What for?'_

Ryan glanced at Dallon who was in the exact same position, the fluorescent orange light of the oven casting a reflection on his glassy eyes, face glowing hauntingly.

Ever since that first night they'd been together Dallon's light had been stuck on purple. The tone remained constant, almost like a reminder of their relationship status. The worst part was late at night when Ryan would be tossing and turning, seeking refuge from his vile thoughts in Dallon's loving embrace. He'd burrow his face in Dallon's neck, only to be greeted by a bright purple light shining directly into his retina, knocking every promise of sleep out of him.

Ryan didn't know whether Dallon actually slept or not. Every time he'd steal a peek at Dallon's face, different shades of grey in the dim room, he appeared to be fast asleep. He always looked so peaceful, thick, long eyelashes just brushing his cheekbones, softly breathing, all the tension that his face usually carried gone. Ryan didn't understand why the company decided that they needed to make an android breathe, but it definitely helped humanize Dallon.

A grey bubble adorned with three dots popped up, then down, then up again, dancing on Ryan's phone screen as he stared at it with the same intensity that Dallon stared at the banana bread with.

_'Can't say. Surprise. Dont be late!!!'_ Appeared on screen. Ryan breathed a sigh of relief, some of his worries disappearing. Alright, a surprise seemed good-natured. Usually before you were going to harass someone you wouldn't call it a surprise, so Ryan was relived.

Ryan jumped in his chair at the sound of the oven beeping, watching Dallon swiftly take out the hot tin, hands covered by two mismatched oven mitts. Ryan's stomach grumbled, but he ignored it, pushing himself away from the table and leaving two new scratches on the hardwood floor.

"I'm gonna have a shower," Ryan mumbled, shuffling into his bathroom and peering into his mirror. He pulled at the purple bags under his eyes, suddenly self conscious of his appearance. Drew wanted to meet that night for whatever reason, and Ryan didn't know what to expect. Usually after he played for bands they never contacted him again, out of disinterest and no need for some random guy that spoke three words and nodded instead of communicating.

The dark roots of his hair were starting to bleed through, eyes dead with lack of sleep, an uncomfortable amount of stubble on his jaw. Ryan didn't want to show up to whatever Drew had planned looking homeless, so he did something he never had before.

He took care of himself.

Ryan turned the creaky metal tap of the shower, the sprinkle of the water drowning out the sound of Dallon working away in the kitchen. He stripped, leaving his clothes in a pile on the ground, and stepped into the shower, closing the plastic yellow curtain behind him. There was never any water pressure in his apartment, so it took a lot of rubbing and moving his head before his hair was full drenched, water uncomfortably cool.

When he showered a couple of days ago, he had ignored the fancy looking shampoo bottles sitting in the corner of the shower, no doubt bought by Dallon. Ryan didn't see the need for shampoo, conditioner and body wash. One bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap got the job done, and they were much cheaper than whatever Dallon had bought.

Curious, Ryan picked up one of the bottles and examined it, the water hitting his back growing increasingly cold.

It read, _'Hair damage repair ultra hydration all natural lavender infused shampoo'._

Could they have included any more words? How hard was it to just write 'shampoo' on the bottle and be done?

Nonetheless, Ryan spread some in his hand and begun to lather his hair, shivering at how icy the water was starting to become. The smell of lavender and cleanliness surrounded him, hands slipping through his vibrant coloured hair, massaging the soap into his scalp.

Ryan let his eyes flutter shut as he stood underneath the sprinkle of the chilled water, soap running down his face. It was tranquil, the sound of water hitting the shower floor calming, like the patter of the rain on pavement. He let his shoulders go loose, mind clearing of every worry he'd had in the past week, replaced with visuals of blooming fields of lavender underneath a bright, warming sun. Everything was still and peaceful, a perfectly painted picture of a serene landscape-

"-Ryan, would you like me to-" An echoey voice and the clattering of the shower curtain being pushed aside pierced the visual, like a knife cutting through a canvas covered in rich artwork.

"What the hell?!" Ryan shouted, squinting through the burning of soap on his eyes. "Ah, _fuck_!"

"Would you like me to help you wash?" A blurry Dallon was standing there, still wearing his pristine, white apron.

"What the fuck? Why would I-" Ryan halted halfway through his sentence to wipe away the suds dripping down his face. "Why the hell would I need help in the shower?"

"I've learned that some couples shower together, and I was wondering if you would like to try." Dallon said matter-of-factually, innocent and naive to the weight of his words.

"Uh-" A chill worked its way down his spine, the cold air of the small bathroom making his teeth chatter. "This _really_ isn't the right time- Could I at least finish my shower?"

Dallon nodded and backed out of the bathroom, giving Ryan a grand smile. Ryan scoffed and continued his shower, eyes wide open and on the lookout for Dallon.

He finished his shower briskly, stepping out onto the cold tile, hair plastered to his forehead. The weather from outside had somehow made its way into his apartment, a blast of cool air coming from his bedroom when he opened the bathroom door and cautiously made his way towards his closet, wrapped in a towel.

Dallon appeared in the doorway, arms crossed, wearing a quizzical expression.

"Has anyone ever told you you look like a stickbug?" Ryan mumbled under his breath as he pulled on a pair of jeans, falling onto his bed.

"I'm sure one of my creators has made a snide comment like such before." Dallon answered blankly.

Ryan was taken back by Dallon's words. Despite many defining moments, Ryan sometimes forgot that Dallon wasn't actually human and was made by some scientists in some building somewhere. It had never occurred to him that Dallon had probably interacted with other people before him, including the stumpy Cyberbio agent.

"So, uh, do you know your creators?" Ryan asked sheepishly, suddenly feeling incredibly selfish. Ryan didn't own Dallon. He could talk to whoever he wanted. So why did Ryan feel a twinge of jealousy?

"Not personally, no. I know that I was created by Cyberbio, and that my handler is Agent Mark Anthony Bennett, age 54." Dallon had begun to make the bed while he talked, pulling up the crisp white sheets until not one fold was seen, ruffling the dark pillows until they sat perfectly.

Ryan was taking his time buttoning up his shirt, a rather tropical themed one with the pattern of black and white palm trees.

"How old are you?" He asked.

"It depends on what constitutes my birth. Since I was first being built? Five years. Since I first gained sentience? Three years. Since I was completed? Four months."

"It took them five years to build you?"

"I am made up of extremely advanced technology, Ryan. It took them an entire year for the voice donor to record my extensive vocabulary."

Dallon sat down next to Ryan on the neatly made bed and watched him pull on a pair of black socks.

"Wait- who's voice do you have?"

"A man by the name Jamie Brobeck. He's quite kind, actually. A lot more ordinary than you though, I must say."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Mr. Brobeck didn't strike me as the type of man to be invested in scientific affairs." Dallon smiled widely, blue eyes twinkling. "Neither did you when I first begun to learn about you, but it seems you've changed your attitude."

Ryan rolled his eyes and hopped off of the bed, padding towards the kitchen and living room. Thick, white snowflakes had begun to fall, a thin sheet of ice starting to form on the windows, some of the cold air finding its way into the small apartment.

Ryan supposed that his attitude towards "scientific affairs" had changed, especially now that he was having affairs with the experiment.

He could only hope that Drew and the rest of the band hadn't found out.

_\- But if the lights don't stop me, no one's got control of what I do -_

Ryan was terrible at parallel parking. It didn't matter how many times he tried, it always ended up taking forever to get it perfect, so he walked into the bar half an hour late.

His eyes darted around the dark room, searching for at least one recognizable face.

"Hey Ryan!" Drew yelled from the bar, the rest of the band coming into view as Ryan made his way over, slipping through bustling cliques of patrons and stepping over random trashed strewn about.

"How's it hanging? Hey, suggestion, don't stand in one spot too long or else your feet will stick to the ground." Drew was nursing a bottle of beer, gesturing to the free stool next to him. Ryan was surprised by his sudden change of attitude towards Ryan as a person, nice and friendly. It seemed too superficial.

Ryan laughed halfheartedly and took a seat, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm alright. What's uh- what do you need?"

There was a fast-paced song playing dully in the background, drowned out by a million different voices, all too loud for Ryan's pounding head. It felt like a roar in his ears, a nauseous wave washing over him as the anticipation built up.

"So-" Drew took a sip of his drink, gulping loudly. "-Brian got a day job, which means he won't be drumming for us anymore, which means... would you like to be our full time drummer?"

" _Holy shit_ \- really? Hell yeah!" Ryan exclaimed, eyes lighting up.

"Dude, that's awesome. Do you have anywhere to be?" Drew asked, wearing a tight lipped smile.

"No, I'm free all night." Ryan responded, unable to hide his own grin. Finally, a semi-stable job. Maybe his life actually was turning out for the better, the exact opposite of how he thought dating Dallon would end up. No, the world hadn't exploded. No one hated him, and here he was, basically receiving a promotion.

"Awesome man. Hey, let's celebrate!" Drew handed him a cold bottle of beer, damp with condensation. The bassist appeared next to Drew nursing the same bottle as them, holding it out.

"Cheers. You're an okay drummer and a pretty cool dude." The bassist said flatly. Ryan internally winced at his subtle insult, but let it slide. He was in a band now!

Ryan hadn't let himself get drunk in a while, but he didn't care about any of his stupid self-set rules. He was allowed to celebrate, he just had to be careful. His alcohol tolerance wasn't the same as it had been back in his teenage years.

He finished his beer all too fast, then it was a line of shots, then it was an expensive bottle of Cuban rum that the bassist's girlfriend had won- or bought- or something along those lines. Ryan was too drunk to think straight, giggling through every sentence, memory growing more blurred with every passing moment.

He knew that the guitarist was telling him some story about selling weed to some highschoolers, and that he was pulling out his phone and making a phone call to someone, but everything other than that was unimportant to drunk Ryan. He never realized just how funny everything was.

Then the love of his life was there, standing across from him, arms folded across his chest. Wait, when did Dallon show up?

"Heyyyy _Dallyyy_ -" Ryan slurred, placing his hand on Dallon's bony shoulder. "Why- why are you here?"

"Ryan, I have dire news. Could we please speak in private?" Dallon sounded panicked and scared, standing out among the sea of drunken nobodies, looking perfect in the faint light. Why was the beautiful tall man so worried?

"Dal- Dallon- You can talk to me about anything, son." Ryan laughed loudly and hiccuped, reaching for the guitarist's drink and taking a sip. "Why are you being such a tight ass? Just chill out, drink with me!"

"Ryan, you phoned the agent twelve times and described in graphic detail our sexual encounters. They in turn contacted me and told me of your location." Dallon's light was a lime green colour as he grabbed Ryan's elbow and tried to guide him away from the bar, but he stayed put. "Come on, let's go."

Ryan squinted at Dallon, the gears in his brain struggling to turn, rusted by alcohol. That was who he called? Gross and boring.

Drew was sitting next to Ryan, listening closely to the entire conversation, sipping beer through a straw. The rest of the band was nowhere to be seen, absorbed by the rowdy crowd.

Ryan snickered again, the alcohol burning the back of his throat. "Whaaaat? I'm fine, Dally. Now get that ass over here, you sexy _bitch_."

Dallon's eyes widened, looking around worriedly. "You're being extremely loud, Ryan. Could we please talk somewhere else?"

Ryan shook his head fiercely, hair skewing every which way. "No, _you're_ being loud! I don't wanna go home!" He whined, twirling on the creaky stool.

"Dude... you had sex with an android?" Drew mumbled, staring at Ryan, appalled. "What the fuck? Yo, Charlie, get a load of this."

The guitarist appeared out of nowhere, looking Dallon up and down suspiciously. "Ryan had sex... with a robot? Wait, is it spying on us?" Charlie looked terrified. "Bro, I swear, I never sold any weed- _it was a huge joke_!"

Ryan scoffed, spinning around on the stool, taking another sip of whatever drink he had grabbed.

"'m not a spy. Are you a spy?" The drunk, blue haired man snickered, turning to Dallon, who was fidgeting nervously.

Dallon shook his head and muttered quietly into Ryan's ear. "Ryan, I think we should go home."

"Why, so we can-" Ryan raised his eyebrows provocatively. "- _do it_?"

"Dude, we're not gonna have a metal-fucker in our band. That's disgusting," Drew spat, leaning on Charlie for support.

"Yeah, 'm not gonna have the government spying on me." Charlie said, taking a step away from Dallon.

"Wait-a-minute... you don't care that 'm gay?" Ryan's brain couldn't keep up with the conversation. Why were they mad? Was he still in the band?

"Why would that matter? It's 2020 man, but anyone who has sex with that thing isn't right in the head." Drew pointed to Dallon.

"Ryan, we need to leave. Let's go." Dallon said firmly, wrapping his arm around Ryan's back and swiftly picking him up, carrying him bridal style.

"Wha- lemme go! I can drive myself home, Dal." Ryan mumbled, lazily thrashing in Dallon's arms as he brought him out of the bar.

"You cannot drive, Ryan, you're extremely intoxicated." He placed Ryan in the back, ignoring Ryan's whines and grabby hands.

Before Ryan knew it he was being carried up the apartment stairs, then being placed on his couch, room spinning above him.

As he laid there, his mind begun to clear the tiniest bit, and he finally realized what had happened. Anger bubbled up in his chest as it dawned on him: he'd lost the promotion all because of Dallon.

"You fucking _idiot_!" He spat, sitting up quickly, vision clouding as dizziness washed over him. "You cost me the promotion! I don't have a fucking job anymore!"

Dallon was standing across from him, emotionless, holding out his hands in front of him defensibly. "Ryan, please, _listen_ -"

"You listen to me!" He shrieked hysterically, a whirlwind of emotions blooming in his chest. "You ruined everything- my smoking stash, my job, my life! I wish- _I wish_ -"

Ryan didn't know what he wished for.

"Ryan, _Cyberbio is going to take me away._ "

Ryan stopped in his tracks. "W-What?"

"It's... against the rules for us to be in relations. When you called the agent, he told me I would be extracted tomorrow. Apparently it says so in the owners manual."

Ryan's body went cold. "You're- they're taking you away?"

Dallon nodded, not meeting Ryan's eyes. "I'm sorry Ryan."

Ryan sat there dumbfounded for a few seconds, letting the weight of Dallon's words set in before standing up slowly and stumbling forward into Dallon's arms. It was all too much for drunk Ryan to process. Dallon was going to leave just as quickly as he came. Ryan was going to loose Dallon, and it was all his fault.

_It was all his fault._

Salty tears started to run down his cheeks as he buried his face in Dallon's neck, wanting to hide away from the world. He was coming apart at the seams, knees buckling beneath him, body shaking as he started to sob, gripping onto Dallon's shirt. He couldn't loose Dallon. Then who would he have left? No family, no friends, no one. He'd be all alone again.

Dallon wrapped his arms around Ryan, holding him close, resting his head on top of Ryan's. His light had flickered to an orange colour, something Ryan had never seen before.

It had been a long day, and this was Ryan's tipping point. First he'd had an epiphany and decided to take care of himself, then he got a job and lost it within two hours, and now he was loosing Dallon forever. He was drunk and tired, fists full of Dallon's sweater as he melted into the embrace, crying hysterically.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay. You lived without me for 30 years, I'm sure you can do it again." Dallon whispered, stroking Ryan's hair and moving them over to the couch, letting Ryan wail into his chest.

But before Dallon, Ryan hadn't been living. He'd been going through life without any feeling, with no reason to wake up and get out of bed other than to make money. Now that Dallon was leaving, he felt just as lost as he had his entire life, and he didn't know what to do.

He didn't know what to do _at all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOOOOOOOO
> 
> I became genuinely sad while writing this... we truly are our worst enemies.
> 
> My mind decided to go on a writing spree at 3AM yesterday morning... or should I say this morning? Either way, expect chapter 5 in a few days (I hope). We're almost done! It's hard to believe :,(
> 
> As always, feel free to point out any mistakes in the comments, or if you just want to chat! Thank you for reading <3
> 
> (P.S: many thanks to my friend Evan for helping with the plot)


	5. Chapter 5: Now shut your dirty mouth (If I could burn this town, I wouldn't hesitate)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After experiencing one last night with Dallon, Ryan decides to confront his fears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: There is reference to vomiting in this chapter, please only read if you're comfortable! <3
> 
> Thanks again! :)

Dallon was petting Ryan's hair, trying his best to soothe the sobbing man.

Ryan felt like his life was crumbling around him, everything good that had happened in the past week being reversed. All he wanted was to be with Dallon and drum for a real band, and now both of those things were being ripped away from him ruthlessly.

Ryan drew in a shaky breath, giving Dallon an empty laugh as he noticed how soaked Dallon's sweater was with tears and snot.

"'m sorry for the mess Dal..." He mumbled into Dallon's chest, feeling smaller than ever. The fact that he knew he'd never get this again was stabbing him in the heart, a sharp pain spreading through his upper body with every single horrible realization that bombarded him. It was all going to be gone so quickly all because of a stupid mistake Ryan had made.

His mind burned with self-hatred, a vile taste creeping up the back of his throat. That nasty voice inside him was louder than it had ever been before, overtaking his brain, spewing insult after insult after insult.

_'Look what you've fucking done. You've ruined your own life. Someone as reckless and idiotic as you deserves this.'_

Tears started to well up in his eyes again as the horrible words settled in. He deserved this. Ryan shouldn't have gotten anything- his apartment, the job, and Dallon. Not even his own family talked to him, leaving a hole in his heart that used to be filled with love from others. The only person he had left was Dallon, and now the hole was going to be wide empty again.

"Sweetheart, hey, it's okay," Dallon murmured, hands trailing down Ryan's spine. The affectionate name only made Ryan bawl more, crying harder than he had in years. It might just be because he was drunk, but part of him knew that it was because he loved Dallon wholeheartedly.

He'd never loved anyone after his family disowned him. It only made the fact that Dallon was leaving sting more.

Another voice piped up, small and almost unheard next to the loud, self deprecating one.

_'It isn't love. Dallon is a machine, and you only love him because you needed someone to fill the void. You're clingy.'_

Ryan stuffed that voice down deep in the crevices of his brain, silencing it. He didn't need those types of thoughts on the last night he was going to be with Dallon. All he wanted was to savour every moment, arms wrapped around Dallon's neck, his big, strong hands stroking Ryan's hair, whispering calming words into his ear.

"Everything's going to work out just fine, darling, believe me. I'd never lie to you, would I honey?"

Ryan shook his head feebly, a whimper escaping past his lips as his cries finally begun to slow down, drawing in the occasional shaky breath. He felt empty after such a hard cry, like he finally got out every emotion he'd been holding in for the past couple years.

He stared up at Dallon with watery eyes, awestruck by how alluring and gorgeous Dallon looked even though he was blurred through Ryan's tears.

There was a soft, yellow glow coming from the lamp on the table beside them, creating a twinkle in his blue eyes, eyebrows knit tightly together in concern. He had some stray hairs falling into his face, collar extremely ruffled by Ryan, lips pursed in anxiety and anguish. Behind the tall android was the wide window that lived above the couch, giving Ryan a view of the entire town blanketed in a thick coat of snow. Fat snowflakes were tumbling down, light and bright compared to the dark sky above them, a scene like something you'd see on a Christmas card.

The world was still for that one moment, Dallon's chiseled face staring at Ryan with an indescribable emotion, the perfect background behind him.

It was all going to be gone.

A sudden wave of nausea washed over Ryan, a burning feeling beginning in his throat that usually came just before vomiting.

"Dal, I think- I think 'm gonna be sick-" Ryan slurred, trying to focus on breathing and not making a mess of such a pretty picture.

Dallon picked him up hastily and brought him to his bathroom, setting him down on his knees in front of the toilet.

Dallon sat there with him while Ryan was sick for the next few hours, the gagging feeling sneaking back up on him every time he thought it was over. Ryan knew his face was sweaty and red, and he knew that Dallon was sitting behind the entire time, occasionally rubbing Ryan's back in comfort, leaving momentarily and returning with glasses of water.

When Ryan could finally keep down the water, it was beginning to turn light outside, the sun peeking out from the horizon. It cast an orange tint on the room as Dallon helped Ryan change and stumble into bed, head pounding and stomach empty. The cool, fresh sheets were the most comfortable thing in the world for Ryan, every terrible thought he'd had hours ago dulled by his severe tiredness. All he could feel was Dallon tucking him in, then a kiss being pressed to his forehead, then his mind being dragged into the depths of sleep that only came after being sick.

_\- So bite your tongue and choke yourself to sleep -_

When Ryan woke up, his head felt like someone was trying to split it open with a jackhammer, the light filtering in between the spotted curtains blinding. What had happened?

The absence of a body in the space next to him brought back every horrible moment of the previous night, from losing his job, to Dallon leaving, to being sick.

It was real. _Dallon was gone._

Ryan had no more tears left in him, so he settled on screaming into his pillow in frustration, body flooding with mixed emotions.

He was furious at everything. Cyberbio, the world, himself. He had never hated himself so much, the only person to blame for this entire mess.

When he pulled his head out the pillow, bleary eyed and bed-headed, he noticed a pill, a note, a glass of water and a mug full of something hot sitting on the nightstand next to him.

Ryan rolled over to the other side of the bed, ignoring the ache in his heart as he thought about who used to occupy that space, and grabbed the note.

_'Ry,_

_I'm going to miss you dearly. Please understand that this decision was not mine to make, nor does it reflect my true feelings towards you._

_I love you Ryan, but unfortunately, that wasn't permitted. I hope that one day we will be able to elope again, but until then, please remember to take care of yourself and that I'll always remember you._

_Love, Dally_

_P.S. I made coffee how you like it. Please take the aspirin and drink the full glass of water first.'_

Ryan's hand shook as he read the note, handwriting in perfect Times New Roman font, just as he had expected for Dallon.

_'I love you Ryan,'_

This was all he had left. A note, a glass of water, an aspirin, a cup of coffee and a head full of memories.

Ryan sat there for a few minutes, feeling numb to every single thought filtering through his spent mind. He wanted to go back to sleep and wake up in a world where this hadn't happened, where he was employed and had friends and had love. Where he had Dallon.

But wait... wasn't there something else Dallon had left? Something that Ryan had forgotten about, thrown into that dark closet full of old junk where he first wanted to keep Dallon.

The owner's manual.

Ryan found enough strength in his dead, hungover body to throw his feet over the edge and pad his way towards his living room, his wooden floor cold compared to how burning hot he felt, sweltering underneath the band t-shirt Dallon had dressed him in. The apartment felt eerily quiet and still, no movement from outside either. It seemed that everyone wanted to avoid the cold weather and stay indoors, cozy and warm, bundled up by the fire with their family, happy and-

Ryan couldn't let his mind wish for things that would never happen. He didn't even have a fireplace, anyways.

He opened the closet door cautiously, like he expected Dallon to be waiting in there like this was all one big prank. He could imagine the goofy smile on his face, the way he'd wrap his arms around Ryan and laugh, that wonderfully joyous sound-

"Snap out of it, Seaman." Ryan muttered to himself, throat closing up as he held back tears. He wasn't going to cry again, a lie that he told himself over and over.

After a few seconds of rummaging he found the dusty owner's manual, book looking as thick and intimidating as ever.

The cover read, _'CYBERBIO MODEL DW1981 OWNER'S MANUEL'_ in bold blue letters, the same shade as Dallon's status light had been. Ryan tucked his newfound treasure under his arm and ran back to his bedroom, bundling himself up under the covers.

As Dallon had so politely written, Ryan took the aspirin and the water, then moved onto the coffee. It was light and sweet, filled with sugar, milk and cream, exactly how Ryan preferred it.

He wished it didn't hurt so much to drink it, the fact that he'd never get another coffee made by Dallon in his life creating a sharp pain in his chest. That, and the fact that it was extremely hot.

Ryan cracked open the book and scanned the table of contents, uninterested by most of the chapter titles except for two.

_'Status Indicator Light Key'_ and _'Rules and Regulations'._

He flipped to the status indicator page first, taking a sip of the steaming drink. If it was still this warm, then Dallon must have made it right before he left.

There was a detailed list of what every single light colour meant, all organized neatly in a row, exactly how Dallon had organized Ryan's dishes.

**_'DW1981 STATUS INDICATOR LIGHT KEY_ **

_**Pink** : Sexually active_   
_**Magenta** : A combination of Pink and Red_   
_**Red** : Romantic_   
_**Orange** : A combination of Red and Yellow_   
_**Yellow** : Sadness (See also: longing, concern, etc.)_   
_**Lime** : Anger (See also: frustration, annoyance, irritation)_   
_**Green** : Connected to cellular device, active transfer of data taking place (See also: for connection issues, please refer to pages 86-91)_   
_**Blue** : Happy (See also: friendly, joyful, curious, etc.)_   
_**Purple** : A combination of Red and Blue_   
_**White** : Neutral (See also: ready for programming and/or introduction to new owner, for instructions and key phrases please refer to pages 33-35)_   
_**Black** : Inactive (See also: May be dead, for battery loss troubleshooting please refer to pages 143-147)'_

Ryan was confused. If Dallon wasn't allowed to be in a relationship, then why did pink and red exist? It didn't make any sense to give and android such features and then implement a rule that barred them from ever using it.

He quickly flipped to the Rules and Regulations chapter, which was much thicker than he expected it to be.

The beginning of the chapter consisted mostly of legal matters, such as being held accountable for any crime the android commits unless a malfunction is proven. Ryan shuddered at the thought that Dallon could've murdered someone, and he would've been held accountable. Ryan didn't think he could even picture Dallon doing something like that.

He scanned each page carefully, every technical term flying over his head. One subsection caught his eye though:

_'Relationships, Fornication and Marriage'_

Perfect.

As he read every paragraph closely, finger slipping down the page with every line he went through, he realized nothing about not being allowed to be in a relationship was ever written. In fact, one paragraph actually stated the opposite.

_'Model DW1981 is equipped with artificial reproductive organs, and fornication is permissible. Owner's are free to begin a romantic relationship with Model DW1981, but must be advised: Your android may not reciprocate your feelings, which in turn means its feelings towards you are entirely fabricated by itself. WARNING: Marriage to an android is not legal in North America.'_

Ryan swore he felt his heart stop beating in his chest.

It wasn't against the rules to date an android? Then what was Dallon going on about? Had he decided he didn't want to live with Ryan anymore?

The thought of that stung hideously, knocking all the breath out of Ryan. What if Dallon had just ran away? What did this mean? Was everything Dallon had said a lie?

No, no, it couldn't be. Ryan wasn't going to let that thought overtake his mind, not when he knew he had to go somewhere to set things straight. He had to go into the nest of something that scared him deeply.

Ryan was going to the Cyberbio headquarters.

_\- You get everything you want, and money always talks to the idiot savants -_

Cyberbio's headquarters was the exact opposite of what Ryan expected, a bland brick building tucked away in a corner of the business district.

'You have arrived at your destination.' The tinny GPS voice filled the car, same inhuman echo that Dallon's voice had.

Ryan pulled up to the entrance of the parking lot warily, skeptical of all the cameras pointing towards his car, convinced that they were following him.

"Can I see your I.D?" The worker sitting in the window didn't even glance at him, eyes glued to a flickering screen.

"Uh- I'm just visiting," Ryan hoped the worker couldn't hear his voice wavering, his hands sweaty on his steering wheel.

"Here's a guest pass- it expires at midnight, if you're not gone by then we tow your car." The worker deadpanned, shoving a laminated card on a lanyard into Ryan's car. Ryan fumbled with it before throwing it on the passengers seat, driving into the wide parking lot.

He parked close to the entrance and tripped his way out of his car, stomach twisting as he shuffled towards the big glass doors, asphalt covered in a thin layer of snow.

Ryan didn't know what he was going to do when he got inside. He didn't even know how he was moving, every step fueled by thoughts of Dallon. Dallon's face, Dallon's voice, Dallon's hands on him making him feel safe. He needed it back, and he didn't care what lengths he'd have to go.

The red brick building looked even more intimidating up close, rows of windows marking each floor panning high into the sky, looming over Ryan. There were security cameras everywhere he looked, all pointing directly on him. He felt bare and exposed, like his body was advertising all his secrets and they could see straight through him.

The fact that Dallon was in there gave Ryan the courage to swing open the clear doors, striding into the gigantic lobby with whatever guts he had left after puking them out yesterday night.

The ceiling spanned higher than Ryan could see, walls covered in one big mirror, thousands of his own scared face staring back at him. He finally knew what bugs felt like after being trapped under a glass, the sense of impending doom laying heavy in the bottom of his stomach.

Ryan felt like he was in a shitty sci-fi movie. He was the dumb protagonist not knowing how deep of a hole he was digging himself into, falling right into a trap. The air was unbreathable, the thick silence deafening, tension hanging heavily in the room.

It was as if he'd stepped into another dimension, everything upside down and inside out, room looking like the inside of a computer. Everything was too clean, too perfected, too... blank.

There was a desk in the middle of the room, same shape and shade as Ryan's phone's charging block. A short haired, blonde woman was standing there with impeccable posture, tapping away at a silent keyboard, eyes glued to the same flickering screen that the worker had been.

Ryan felt like he was walking through slush, every step carrying an unbelievable weight. As he approached the desk he noticed a white ring of light around the woman's neck, shining unsteadily.

Of course the creepy company would have a creepy android secretary.

Ryan cleared his throat, making the secretary's head snap up to give him a wide, inhuman smile, her bright red lips splitting to reveal two perfect rows of pearly teeth.

"Welcome to Cyberbio. How can I assist you today?" Her voice was much more robotic than Dallon's, tone crisp and rigid.

A shiver worked its way through Ryan's body, words stuck in his mouth like he'd eaten glue for breakfast.

"Uh... I'm l-looking for..." He racked his brain for the short agent's name. "B-Bennett? Matt Bennett?"

The fabricated, superficial smile stayed frozen on the secretary's face as she responded. "You must mean Cyberbio Agent Mark Bennett. Could I please have a first and last name?"

Here he was, giving his name to the enemy. Not that it mattered much anyways. They probably already knew everything about him, down to how he liked his eggs in the morning.

"Seaman. Uh- Ryan Seaman."

The secretary's light blinked as she took in his name. "Yes, Mr. Bennett has you here in the system." She held out a hand towards the east wall, palm perfectly flat. "Please take the elevator to the 11th floor and turn left. Just down the hall should be his office."

She was gesturing to a metallic elevator that blended in perfectly with the rest of the wall, yet it was old and fading compared to the minimalistic room.

Ryan swallowed down the bile that burned his throat, head throbbing unbearably. He shouldn't have drank that much the previous night. If he had been responsible, he wouldn't even be in this situation.

"Please enjoy your stay!" The electronic voice rang out behind him as he stumbled into the old elevator, jamming the door closed button with his thumb rapidly, dying to escape the horrifyingly blank stare of the secretary.

The elevator rumbled as it rose into the building, like the faraway thunder that frightened Ryan.

When the doors opened, Ryan didn't expect an ordinary hallway to greet him, stepping out onto a musty grey carpet, random stains highlighted under yellow florescent lights. He had braced himself for an army of robots that he'd have to defeat before he found the agent, hellbent on destroying him, programmed to kill. Sure, it was a stretch, but then again, the lobby had looked like it belonged in a psychological horror movie.

Ryan looked around cautiously before shuffling down the hallway, the secretary's mechanical instructions ringing out through his head. He turned around a corner warily, nerves quivering just as much as his hands were.

He passed by countless wooden doors, black name plates adorning each one, white letters scratched on in perfect Times New Roman. Ryan's mind blurred out each and every one, hyper focusing on the only person he needed to talk to.

Agent Mark Bennett.

Ryan stood in front of the office door, stomach twisting itself into pretzels. What was he going to say? He couldn't just storm in there demanding for Dallon... could he?

At the thought of Dallon's warm smile, he gained a sudden rush of adrenaline, knocking on the door harshly.

"Please, come in."

Ryan shoved open the door forcefully, puffing his chest out, trying to appear confident.

He wanted so badly for Dallon to be there, holding out his lanky arms for Ryan to fall into, that he thought he saw the tall android standing next to the thick oak desk. The hallucination dissolved quickly as Ryan's mind caught up, chest that was just full and proud now deflated.

"Mr. Seaman, I'm surprised to see you here." The agent was sitting at his desk, reading glasses perched on his nose, laptop flickering in front of him.

"Where- where is he? Where is Dallon?" Ryan couldn't hear how frantic his voice was over the rush of blood in his ears, heart pounding louder than his drums.

"What? Model DW1981 was extracted earlier this morning, Mr. Seaman. He's in one of our labs at this moment, being prepared for a data backup and memory wipe."

"You-" Ryan pointed his finger accusatorially at the shorter man, who was looking up at Ryan through his glasses, unbothered by what Ryan was nearly yelling. "Me and Dallon were- were in _love_ , and that was allowed. Your lie about the manual was bullshit- it's- it's-"

Ryan was floundering, voice shaking uncontrollably. Every fake image of confidence he'd built was being torn down, revealing his true feelings. He was sure he was going to cry right then and there in that sketchy agent's office, falling to the carpeted floor, weeping uncontrollably. Ryan thought he might as well accept his fate right then and there.

"Very well, Mr. Seaman. It seems you've uncovered the true reason you were given Dallon," The agent looked bored beyond his wits. "While relationships are permissible, we wanted to examine the crucial role that an android can play in a civilian's life, and how removing that android would play out."

Ryan's knees shook beneath him as fear spread through his body, his heartbeat making its home in odd places.

"I must say-" The agent continued, "I didn't expect you to bond so deeply, let along go to these lengths to recover Dallon. My supervisors are going to be very pleased with this discovery."

"I- well, can I have him back?!" Ryan sounded more hysterical than women on reality TV when they lost an earring. He was still sick and dizzy, mixed with all the adrenaline pumping through his veins, every extreme emotion he'd experienced in the past 24 hours whipping through him.

"I'm afraid you cannot. It's more of a financial matter, I must say. You must understand, what, with your current living situation." The agent raised his grey eyebrows, dismissing Ryan like he was an afterthought.

"I could- I could buy him, couldn't I?" Ryan knew it was a stretch, but he couldn't stop the words from falling out of his mouth.

"Mr. Seaman, Dallon is over 20000 dollars. You must realize how insane that would be with an income like yours."

Ryan felt like he'd been punched in the gut, all air knocked out of his lungs.

"Wait- Wait, what if I did another experiment?" Ryan stuttered.

The agent looked up at him expectantly.

"You- you said Dallon was a musician android, right?" Ryan continued, hands sweating profusely. "What if we made a band, and you could watch how that works or- or whatever."

Ryan could see the gears turning in the agent's head as he considered Ryan's words. It felt like forever, Ryan's heart stopping short in his ribcage, terrified. If this didn't work, then he was hopeless, destined for a life of loneliness.

"I... _suppose_ we could do that."

His random idea had worked? Ryan's jaw was on the floor, staring at the agent in disbelief, unsure of how to react. Part of him was still convinced this was one big prank show, and that an over-the-top host and a crew of camera men were going to crawl out of the woodwork, shouting obnoxiously in his face.

The agent sighed, rubbing his face, exasperated. "Look, I can obviously tell you've fallen in love with the thing. I'm going to get crap from my superiors... but it's not like they're already pissed at me enough."

Ryan was still frozen in shock, amazed by the quick change of character from the agent.

"-we'll have to discuss the fine details later but, if you really wanna see your man, we better hurry up." The agent got up and walked past Ryan hastily, briskly making his way through the maze of hallways. Ryan followed silently, heart leaping at what he was saying.

"I hope Dr. Weekes hasn't already begun the memory wipe- if she has, then it's pointless for you to get him back." He pressed the elevator button which flashed orange, then went dark when the elevator arrived, screeching to a halt.

"Wh-What do you mean?" Ryan stumbled over his words, just as he stumbled into the elevator after the agent.

"It's standard procedure to wipe clean the memory of every android that comes to us after being with an owner. If she's already begun, then it's too late; Dallon will not remember you, or anything that occurred during your time together."

Ryan silently prayed to whatever god was out there that Dallon hadn't begun the memory-wipe-thingie. If Dallon didn't remember Ryan, then he didn't remember their first kiss, the sex, the adorable purring or the banana bread. Dallon wouldn't be Dallon anymore, he'd just be... an empty metal shell.

Ryan didn't want to start over. He didn't think he had it left in him to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you I'd post it quickly :)
> 
> I actually really enjoyed writing the handbook part, I don't know why but it's fun?? Hm...
> 
> It saddens me that there's only one chapter left after this :( we've come so far! Expect it in maybe a week, maybe less.. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Thank you for reading! I say this every chapter, but I cherish every comment I get! :)
> 
> (P.S: Sorry not sorry for leaving you on a cliffhanger >:)


	6. Chapter 6: A modern concussion (the room is on fire)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan is united with Dallon and lets his emotions get the best of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: There is smut in this chapter! Please only read if you're comfortable :)
> 
> Thank you again! And savour this chapter - it's the last one! <3

The elevator seemed to move slower now that there was overwhelming time pressure, the longest fucking elevator ride of Ryan's life. His mind ached with thoughts about the fact that it could already be too late, and Dallon could already have forgotten about him.

The creaky doors opened to a similar hallway as the one Agent Mark Bennett's office was on, same grey carpet and cream coloured walls, strangely resembling Ryan's grandmother's house, or what he remembered of it.

There was a metal door right in front of the elevator, a blinking scanner mechanism next to it on the wall. The agent pulled out a card and scanned it, a small beep granting them access. Ryan could feel his blood in his fingertips, like he could count every little particle of the shaggy carpet, his senses heightened by the liquid strength flowing through him.

All that mattered was the fact that Dallon was in there, either waiting for him or not.

The agent pushed open the door with a grunt, letting it slam behind them once Ryan stepped into the dark room, making Ryan jump. It was just as well lit as every bar he'd ever played at, a soft glow coming from every strange chamber contractions they passed, a low electronic hum piercing the air.

In each chamber were androids of all shapes and sizes, eyes closed, arms by their sides. It was a horrifying sight to Ryan, like the dungeon that a serial killer would hide their victims bodies in. The room truly was nightmare fuel, each of the two men's steps echoing through the seemingly deserted lab, some decapitated heads with missing eyes sitting on a table that Ryan avoided completely.

The agent led him through rows of these chambers until a woman standing next to a dark one came into view, fiercely scribbling something onto a clipboard.

"Mr. Seaman, I'd like you to meet Dr. Breezy Weekes, Dallon's creator."

The blonde haired woman held out a manicured hand to Ryan, the sleeves of her white lab coat bobbing as she shook his clammy hand enthusiastically.

"Ah, so this is the man Dallon was telling me about! I must say, he couldn't shut up about you, but that's Dallon for you." She laughed heartily, holding her hand to her chest, bright red nails reflecting soft yellow light coming from a nearby chamber.

Ryan couldn't take his eyes away from the pitch black chamber. The fact that Dallon was in there, memories gone? It was too much for Ryan.

"Dallon- uh, where is he?" Ryan tried not to sound too desperate, but judging by the look on Breezy's face, he hadn't tried too hard.

"Oh, you think he's in there?" She chuckled again, scrunching up her nose as she giggled. "Haha, oh lord, no. That's where we keep non-programmed androids, the defunct ones. God, you should hear them talk- imagine an insane person, mixed with software errors."

She set down the clipboard she had been using and motioned for Ryan to follow her, the agent disappearing into the shadows just as he had the first night they'd met. Ryan stepped over miscellaneous pieces of metal and wires strewn about, a reminder of the previous night where he'd stepped over trash in the exact same fashion. He didn't even want to think about what Drew and the rest of the band thought of him now after being dragged out of the bar by an android- He definitely knew he wouldn't ever be welcome near them again. But part of Ryan was glad that it hadn't been because he was gay, and it was only because his lover was a robot. It made him feel like there were still good people left in the world who were at least half-accepting of him, unlike the number of unpleasant interactions he'd had with family and old friends alike.

Breezy led him to another section of the room, high heels clicking against the white tiles of the floor. There were glass boxes lining the wall across from them, like enclosures at a zoo. Each one had a door and a chair, a thousand different wires connected to every individual android that stood behind the glass, white lights on their necks blinking simultaneously as their eyes followed Ryan closely like the security cameras had.

Was the glass protecting them from Ryan, or Ryan from them?

"-and most people say, why work with the lights off, but honestly me and the androids bond better in the dark, y'know?" Breezy was chatting away, ignoring the blank stares of fully functional androids, faces pressed up against the glass. Ryan felt nauseous at the sight, walking as far away from the glass cages as possible, every pair of empty eyes turned upon him.

"I actually based Dallon off of my husband, James. He's quite the nerd, so he loves this stuff, but hey, so am I." The rows seemed to go on forever as Ryan trudged behind Breezy, every friendly comment going over his head.

And then he came into view. Sitting perfectly still on the chair, wearing a white dress shirt and black slacks, hair combed neatly back as opposed to how messy it normally was, the light on his neck dim. It threw Ryan off how different he looked, like a collectible figurine stashed in a glass case somewhere, cables attached to his neck, back and head. He was staring straight ahead into the glass wall, eyes dark and lifeless, like nobody was home behind them.

"Doesn't he look like Clark Kent?" Breezy said as she approached the clear door, fishing a big ring of keys out of her lab coat pocket. "I used to call him my handsome little man, but then my colleagues told me to knock it off. I guess he's not so little though, huh?" She laughed again, brightening the otherwise somber atmosphere.

Ryan felt stuck in place as she pushed open the glass door and walked past an idle Dallon to a small screen on the wall.

"Wh- is he dead? Does he remember me?" Ryan blurted out, standing awkwardly in the doorway, leaning away from Dallon like he would jump out at any given moment. His adrenaline had almost entirely worn off, and all he could think about was sleeping, curled up in Dallon's wiry arms.

"You got lucky, Mr. Seaman. Just before Mark interrupted my studious note-taking, I was going to wipe Dallon's memory files." She talked with her back to Ryan, still tapping away at the screen. "And don't worry, your Prince Charming isn't dead. I just like to say that they're taking a long nap, but people make fun of that too." She turned towards Ryan and rolled her eyes playfully before looking back at the screen. Ryan let out a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding, staring at a motionless Dallon, eyes stinging with fatigue. He looked so... empty, with his blank face and deserted eyes, blending right in with the rest of the shadows.

"Woo, rough night last night, huh?" The doctor whistled, scrolling through a large block of text, bright blue eyes darting across every sentence.

"How did you know?"

"Dallon's diary entries," She said, finally backing away from the wall and placing a hand on Dallon's shoulder, making his collar ruffle around his neck. "He really likes you, by the way. Only ever has nice things to write."

Ryan cracked a tired smile, numb to every word she said. He felt like he'd been broken down to his bare, mind working overtime to process everything that was happening.

Breezy begun to disconnect certain wires attached to Dallon, letting them fall to the ground in a heap. Dallon stayed perfectly still, hands folded neatly on his, body inanimate and comatose. He looked how Ryan felt; a dead, cold shell of a man.

"Dallon, wake up." She said firmly, standing with her face inches away from his. Dallon's light began to glow white again as he blinked slowly, head turning to take in his surroundings.

"Dr. Weekes," Dallon smiled at the cheerful woman, not having noticed Ryan standing rigid in the doorway. "How are you doing?"

"Just fine Dallon, just fine." She answered backhandedly, spinning on her heel to face Ryan. "I think there's someone waiting for you though."

Dallon twisted around to see Ryan, face splitting into a relieved grin, waves of disbelief crashing down in the deep blue ocean that was his eyes.

"Ry?" The nickname fell out of his mouth, echoing through the shadow barren lab of nightmares like the golden sun in a sky full of murky clouds.

Emotions overwhelmed him, small tears forming in his swollen eyes, clinging onto his eyelashes. "D-Dal?"

Ryan rushed over to Dallon, weak legs wobbling beneath him, and fell into his lap. Breezy recoiled away from the two, smiling politely at their reunion, blonde curls falling into her face.

"What are you doing here?" Dallon spoke softly into Ryan's neon hair, slender arms wrapped around the shaking man on his lap.

"I-I-" Ryan hiccuped, throat closing up, vision muddled by the tears in here eyes. "I'm here to take you home... I couldn't let them take- take you away..."

The water dam was about to break, turning Ryan into a blubbering mess. He couldn't even tell what he was spewing anymore, the words slipping out of his mouth so fast his mind couldn't keep up, tripping over his words like he was drunk. God, he wished he was drunk again.

"-and I realized that- that I couldn't live without you, and I love you, and I need you in my life- p-please-" Ryan didn't even know why he was begging Dallon. Maybe part of him still believed that Dallon had left on his own accord after deciding that he didn't want to live with Ryan anymore, Ryan's worst nightmare. If Dallon didn't love him, then no one did, and he would be all alone again-

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here now," Dallon cooed softly, rubbing circles into Ryan's back. "How did you convince Mr. Bennett that I could go home with you?"

Ryan's mind strained to remember back to less than an hour ago, when he'd been in the agent's office, throwing a hissy fit. "Um- there's something we g-gotta do... can I explain later?" He mumbled into Dallon's chest, hands fumbling on his shoulders.

Breezy cleared her throat loudly, standing in the darkest corner of the room, hands clasped together behind her back. "Mr. Seaman, Mark has granted you clearance to take Dallon home after we run some diagnostics."

Ryan had forgotten that there was someone else in the room other than him and Dallon, watching him break down on the android's lap. "O-Oh, yeah, uh-" He wiped away the tears in his eyes with the back of his hand, face burning red at how childish he was acting. "C-Can I stay in the room?"

Breezy smiled gently, eyes kind and sympathetic, like how Ryan wished his mother's had been when he came out. "Of course you can, Ryan."

Ryan backed away from Dallon on wobbly legs, leaning against the back wall for support.

Breezy was at the screen again, long, red nails clacking away at the glowing glass, pages of code Ryan didn't understand popping up.

"Dallon, run quick diagnostic test." Her voice was clear and strong, words spoken flawlessly.

Dallon's white light began to flicker steadily as he stared straight ahead. Ryan's stomach flip-flopped at the sight, astonished by how easily controlled he was by this outlandish company.

"Serial number?"

"Model DW1981, serial number 3-Delta–930-Tango-98-Sierra-Romeo."

"CPU temperature?"

"63° Celsius."

"Battery percentage?"

"99%."

"System status?"

"Fully operational. How are your kids, Dr. Weekes?"

Breezy shook her head, grinning. "No matter how many times we go through this, you always seem to interrupt. They're doing well, Dallon."

Ryan couldn't help but smile too. Dallon was still... Dallon. Friendly, charming and courteous.

It made Ryan's weary heart skip a beat.

That was the Dallon that he'd fallen in love with. The one who's kindness had thawed Ryan's cold heart, frozen by years of hatred and neglect, hidden away from the world.

These days, Ryan felt like he wore his heart on his sleeve, but maybe that was okay. Because at the end of the day, no matter what others thought, he'd still get to fall asleep surrounded by the love and warmth he hadn't felt for years.

_\- This is the sin that I will confess to release myself from consequence -_

After staggering out of the nightmare factory, hands intertwined, Dallon drove an overworked Ryan home with many promises of sleep.

It may have only been less than a day that the two were separated, but to Ryan, it felt like years. He felt like like he'd been stuck in that insufferable building for weeks; he couldn't even begin to imagine what it felt like for Dallon, trapped in that crystal cage, chained up by wires and firm voice commands, surrounded by dissected bodies of his own species.

The plastic-covered stairs to his apartment were the tallest mountain in the world to Ryan, legs weighing a thousand pounds each as he trudged up each step, hand brushing against Dallon's. Because of the sudden harsh weather, the complex had laid out black mats for people to stomp their snow onto, but careless tenants still managed to track muddy slush and rock salt into the building, making the staircase a slippery slope of imminent danger.

When he finally pushed open the apartment door, the familiar sight of his ragged furniture comforted Ryan's shaken mind, the hideous images of robotic eyes observing him closely burned permanently into his brain.

Dallon shut the door behind them, face still split into the content grin he'd had on since the left the building, a wonderful sight for Ryan's sore eyes.

Ryan couldn't stop himself, body two steps ahead of him, striding over to Dallon. He softly cupped Dallon's sharp jaw with his hand and stood on the tips of his toes, kissing him chastely.

Dallon responded with a small noise of surprise, then immediately melted into the kiss, wrapping his long arms around the blue-haired man.

When Ryan pulled away he was breathless, hypnotized by the sparkle of the moon in Dallon's sky-coloured eyes.

"What was that for?" Dallon muttered against Ryan's lips, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"I don't know... I'm just glad you're back." Ryan giggled, feeling like a teenage schoolgirl after her first kiss, a swoon creeping up on him.

"I'm glad I'm back too." Dallon hummed before kissing Ryan back, lips unbelievably soft. He caught Ryan's lip between his teeth, swiping his tongue across the opening of Ryan's mouth, swallowing his high pitched gasp.

Ryan let enchantment wash over him, a tingling feeling in his fingertips, cheeks blossoming red at Dallon's embrace.

"You must be tired," Dallon whispered, pulling away from Ryan. "Let's go to bed, hm sweetheart?"

Ryan nodded, heart stuttering at the pet name, padding towards his bedroom with Dallon in tow.

He stripped as quickly as he could and slid into bed, sheets and pillows rumpled.

Dallon made his way into bed and begun to run his hands all over Ryan's body, squeezing his upper arms, thick with muscle after years of drumming.

"God, I missed you." Ryan whimpered, body melting in Dallon's touch as he nipped at Dallon's sharp collar bones, licking a column up his neck.

Dallon groaned softly, head falling back exposing more of his edged neck for Ryan to mark with his mouth. "Mmm... darling, don't stop,"

Ryan sucked a row of hickeys onto Dallon's jaw, but to his disappointment, Dallon's skin remained the same milky white colour. It didn't matter much to Ryan though, he still loved the feeling of Dallon on his tongue, mouthing a path up to his lips before kissing him open mouthed and filthy, unashamed of the smacking noises he was making.

Dallon slipped a hand down Ryan's back, sliding it down the divide of his ass and cupping his cheek, making Ryan's breath hitch in his throat.

"Let me treat you right, hm baby?" Dallon cooed, slender fingers circling Ryan's fluttering hole. "Let me make you feel good honey, just like you deserve after such a long day."

Ryan moaned into Dallon's chest, tongue darting out of his mouth to lap at his Adam's apple, brain going fuzzy at Dallon's treatment. "Please Dallon- unh, I need it, god-" He whined.

Dallon shushed him softly, gently cutting him off with a kiss. " _Shh_ _babydoll_ , you want to be a good slut for me, right sweetheart?"

Ryan gave him a small nod, eyes going wide at the name, cock growing harder between him and Dallon.

"Oh baby, look at that," Dallon was staring down at Ryan's cock, mouth open in awe. "God, you're hot for it, aren't you? Someone's a hungry little slut tonight..."

Ryan whined, hips jerking forward into Dallon's abdomen, face growing flushed at the android's words. "Unh huh- please Dal, 'm your little slut,"

Dallon smirked, reaching over hot-and-bothered Ryan to grab the lube bottle standing on Ryan's nightstand, unused since the first time they fucked. Ryan whimpered as Dallon spread some on his fingers, then he pushed into his hole ruthlessly, already working him open.

"Oh fuck!" Ryan cried, writhing against the tall android, cock leaking an obscene amount of precome. "Oh, fuck me Dal!"

Dallon harshly twisted his fingers, pressing against Ryan's prostate. "You've got a dirty mouth on you, sweetheart. Such a pretty little thing shouldn't be saying such nasty words, don't you think?"

Ryan bit his lip and nodded, squeezing his legs together in a useless attempt to hold back his arousal. Dallon added a third finger, his other hand kneading Ryan's ass, lips brushing against Ryan's as the blue-haired man started to pant softly.

Everything was serene and peaceful, Dallon and Ryan sharing the same breaths, bodies warm and close, shifting against each other. The room was quiet except for Ryan's occasional gasp when Dallon would push his fingers in deeper, silencing Ryan with a soft kiss, teasing him. Never in a million years did Ryan think he'd be in this situation; Dallon taking his sweet time opening him up, making love with an android he'd just rescued from a building that looked like the set of a sci-fi movie, heart drumming rhythmically against his chest.

Ryan let his eyes flutter shut, a sudden bout of emotions overcoming him. He was loved. It was enough to fill the gap in his heart, the gap that would never be the same after what his mother said to him, but Dallon made it pretty damn close.

His eyes snapped open when Dallon changed their position so that they were sitting upright, Ryan comfortable on his lap. "It's alright darling, I'm here," He purred, his free hand cradling Ryan's back. "You just let yourself relax, okay doll?"

Ryan smiled softly, mind at ease. " _Okay_..."

He let himself drift away into a faraway land, thoughts bouncing around his mind like a laptop screensaver, every muscle in his body calm and tension-less, the occasional tingle of pleasure in his lower regions. Through a foggy brain, he knew that Dallon was still opening him up, lips still glued to his, but anything other than that was unimportant to Ryan.

Some of that fog cleared when he felt Dallon remove his fingers and line up with his hole, easing in slowly. Ryan let his breath stutter, a small "uh-uh-uh" piercing the air as he took a deep breath in, trying to regain composure.

"There we are, that's it honey," Dallon cooed, intertwining his hand with Ryan's calloused one and rubbing his back with the other. "Just take it slowly baby, you're doing so well for me darling. Does it feel okay?"

Ryan nodded silently, a happy little whine accidentally falling past his lips. He was straddling Dallon's lap, full and content, almost delirious at how tired and blissful he was, mind shut down leaving him to run purely on emotions.

"Good, I'm glad sweetheart." Dallon crooned, eyes crinkled with smile lines. "I just want to make you feel good, babydoll."

Ryan beamed into the crook of Dallon's neck, magenta light shining directly into his eyes, but this time he welcomed it. The pet names made him lightheaded, his stomach aching with how much love he had for Dallon. Before he'd met Dallon, he thought all the love running through him had dried up, a barren desert hidden from the world. But here he was, so much affection flowing through his veins he didn't know what to do with it, oozing out of his pores.

He began to leisurely rock back onto Dallon, soft little moans slipping out as he lazily kissed Dallon's long neck. Time bled for them, pleasure wrapping itself around Ryan's brain, a thick haze falling onto the dark room. Love hung heavily in the air, so prominent you could see it through every sweet moment they shared, through every gentle touch of a hand or soft word of encouragement Dallon murmured into Ryan's ear.

"That's it darling, good little slut," Dallon kissed Ryan's forehead, his eyes heavy lidded and dark. "You're taking my cock so well sweetheart, you're doing amazing. You're so pretty Ry..."

Ryan snuggled in under Dallon's chin, letting exhaustion drag his mind into the void, worries miles away. His breathing steadied as he drifted into sleep, worn out from everything that had happened, safe and protected on Dallon's lap.

It was everything he didn't even know he'd wanted.

_\- The moral objections to something so profane. Oh, but the deepest of convictions are the darkest positions -_

One wintry morning a few weeks later, Ryan decided to be the bigger person and stomp his feet on the rubber mat at the bottom of the stairs, leaving two snow caked footprints. In the past couple weeks they had been together again, Ryan assumed that Dallon's kindness and cleanliness had rubbed off on him.

When he swung open the door with his glove-covered hand, a warm smile greeted him, sitting on the couch, legs crossed, reading a book. He looked elegant with the winter landscape behind him, overcast sky creating a white halo around his silhouette, brown hair spiking every which way.

"How did practice go?" Dallon asked, watching closely as Ryan peeled off the thick jacket that the android insisted he wear.

"Well enough. We still have to choose a band name though, y'know."

The morning after their intimate night, Ryan had explained the agent's conditions, fear overcoming him when he realized how hard it would be to start a two-person band, and how easily he could loose Dallon again.

Agent Mark Bennett's emails and calls had been persistent, something Ryan could expect every day like clockwork. It was always, _'update?'_ Or _'update on band name?'_ Or _'please send me a valid response instead of a photo of a penguin with a cowboy hat.'_

Man, that agent really had no sense of humour.

The reminders hung over Ryan's head, mind constantly racking itself for ideas day and night. Nothing stuck out to him, and he wanted the band to be perfect, no, he _needed_ the band to be perfect. He couldn't let Dallon down like that.

"How many days clean are you now?" Dallon already knew the answer to the question; he just wanted to see Ryan answer.

"Ten!" Ryan said proudly as he slipped off his boots, small black rocks stuck in the crevices of the shoe's sole. There were already a bunch strewn around the front entrance of the apartment, little spikes that Dallon and Ryan despised alike.

Dallon had encouraged Ryan to quit smoking, and while it had been hard between fighting temptations and finding different ways of coping with stress, financially it was rewarding. With the money that would usually be spent on cigarettes, he'd saved up enough to actually invest in a real TV for their living room, even though it was slightly used and a little outdated. Not that either of them cared, not when Ryan had hands on the most modern technology around: Dallon.

"Would you like to watch a movie?" Dallon asked as he set down his book, the name escaping Ryan. When they'd gone shopping for the television, Dallon politely asked for a number of old books that looked like they belonged in a medieval library, pages frayed and faded.

Ryan reluctantly bought them, puzzled by why Dallon would want a bundle of musty old books, but the overjoyed grin he had on as he carried them home was enough to make it all worth it. Ryan would do anything to see Dallon's perfect smile, radiating happiness and warmth, making Ryan's heart soften every damn time.

"Sure, what's on?" Ryan's feet left wet prints on the floor as he made his way into the kitchen, sifting through the cabinets for something to eat.

Dallon grabbed the remote off the rickety coffee table and turned on the TV, flicking through channels mindlessly. "... The news... Property Brothers... Back To The Future..."

Ryan's eyes lit up. "Back To The Future? I love that movie... I haven't seen it in forever though,"

Dallon patted the open spot on the couch next to him, pulling up a downy blanket over his long legs and getting cozy.

Ryan sat down next to Dallon, resting his head on the android's shoulder and snuggling up to him like an oversized house cat, both pairs of legs tangled together under the fluffy blanket.

While Ryan loved movies, he usually fell asleep during them, warm and snug in Dallon's slender arms compared to the glacial weather outside.

He had begun to nod off, the sound of Marty Mcfly and Doc Brown's adventures droning in the background like he was underwater, the waves of sleep pulling him under.

After about an hour, Dallon shifted slightly, knocking Ryan's drowsy mind askew as he jolted up from his spot on Dallon's shoulder, brain racing to figure out where he was.

"I'm sorry Ry," He whispered into Ryan's hair, coaxing Ryan to cuddle with him again.

"Mmh... it's okay," Ryan slurred, squinting through blurry eyes at the dark blob that was Dallon. "-movie's almost over anyways..."

His ears picked up the TV noise again, one line ringing out through his head:

"Oh my god... they found me... I don't know how, but they found me..."

Dallon was staring down at Ryan, a sly little smile creating a dimple in his cheek, sky eyes thoughtful and sincere. "Hey... want to have some dinner?" He said softly.

The moment, like every moment he shared with Dallon, was absolutely perfect. It was these moments that reminded Ryan why he loved Dallon so much, his patient disposition, his perfect grin, his tender little voice that he used when Ryan was sleepy.

Ryan didn't know how, but Dallon had found the real him. The him that wasn't a fabricated lie, a tough shell of a man that he'd built up to hide himself from a world that didn't accept him for who he was.

Dallon made him feel good about himself, made him feel like he was allowed to show his emotions and do things that he loved without caring about what others thought. He brought out the best in Ryan and always encouraged him to do the right thing... he had made Ryan a better person.

Dallon found him.

_'I don't know how, but they found me.'_

Doc Brown's line explained exactly what Ryan was thinking. How Cyberbio ever found him in the first place, an average man living a lie, a grey life among much more colourful ones. How Dallon had cracked through his hardened exterior and lured out the soft, emotional man that he really was.

The name was perfect for them, a reminder of such a special moment.

"Yeah... dinner would be nice," Ryan snuggled closer into Dallon, the cold starting to creep up the exposed part of his legs. "But... cuddling sounds better."

Dallon pulled him into a bear hug, kissing his forehead. "Of course we can Ry..."

"Whatever you'd like, sweetheart."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it folks... The end!
> 
> I really loved writing this story, but I wouldn't have continued writing if it wasn't for every one of you, so first and foremost thank you to you, the readers! <3
> 
> Thank you to my best friend Evan for reading every chapter, no matter how much you didn't like it <3
> 
> Thank you to Ryan and Dallon because... well... they're the main characters! And they're super cool dudes.
> 
> Also, did anyone find the super small Brobecks reference in this chapter? Let me know if you did!
> 
> At the moment I'm writing another Weekman fic kinda like this one, so stick around if you enjoyed! Thank you to everyone who left a kudos, comment, or even a hit because you absolutely made my quarantine 1000% better :)
> 
> Happy future reading! <3


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